Hello to the two people I know that read this...
This post was inspired by a rather rediculous post I saw online, that said "If a man comes during sex it's normal, if a woman comes is exceptional" or something similar, I'm paraphrasing.
I'm sure you know me well enough to know that I disagree! It all comes down to effort, and dominance. Men come because they are the ones putting the greater percentage of effort in, and are in charge of positioning. If a girl wants to enjoy herself more, she must be more active, either putting in as much effort, or changing the position into one which works for her. I know most guys would not complain about this! I only remember being with one girl who was totally assertive, in fact, she was pretty damn pushy as well, insisting she was on top and grinding away in a way that did nothing for me. I was happy to oblige though, knowing that she was enjoying it, and well, things would continue on afterwards.
Perhaps girls should stop worrying about how good the boy is, and work on making it work for them!
Also, what's the deal with the toilet seat thing? Putting the seat down takes practically 0 effort, while lifting it is more work (physically speaking, it's obviously not a big deal) but I've never heard a bloke moaning about have to lift the thing!
I've had a few bits n pieces to write about for a while, but I seem to have forgotten the others...
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
23/08/2011
08/04/2010
The Comfort Zone
The comfort zone is lovely place, it's all squishy and soft, warm and cosy, and when you leave it it can be very hard to be yourself. It happens quite often, but not as much as it should. It's something that you need to do every now and again, to check that you're pushing yourself hard enough, to look at yourself from the outside, and as a test to how you can cope no matter where you are.
Almost anything can push you out of your comfort zone, whether it's being left alone in a strange place, or not being in the right mood, not having the atmosphere, even having a cold. When you're at work or at home it's unlikely that you'll leave the zone, but when you're out with friends it can take just one thing to kick you out of it. Once that happens it can be quite a daunting place, and hard to get back again.
Perhaps the trick is not just to be able to survive outside the zone, but also to be able to extend the zone to where you are. To be able to go somewhere you don't fit in, or where you don't know anyone and just make yourself as at home as you would be anywhere else.
This may prove hard if people are less friendly, but once you get into a good conversation location is really quite irrelevent, your frame becomes more focused.
Re-framing is an excellent process, conducted in the mind and really is just looking at things from the bright side. If you don't get the job after an interview, instead of focusing on the negative sides, you can learn from the positives. You learnt that you need to work on your interview technique, or that a certain technique didn't work in that scenario. Every situation is framed by each person, and understanding another persons view can allow you to empathise, or find a way to make them see it your way.
It can also help get you back into your comfort zone - but then, so can alcohol. Up to you I guess...
Almost anything can push you out of your comfort zone, whether it's being left alone in a strange place, or not being in the right mood, not having the atmosphere, even having a cold. When you're at work or at home it's unlikely that you'll leave the zone, but when you're out with friends it can take just one thing to kick you out of it. Once that happens it can be quite a daunting place, and hard to get back again.
Perhaps the trick is not just to be able to survive outside the zone, but also to be able to extend the zone to where you are. To be able to go somewhere you don't fit in, or where you don't know anyone and just make yourself as at home as you would be anywhere else.
This may prove hard if people are less friendly, but once you get into a good conversation location is really quite irrelevent, your frame becomes more focused.
Re-framing is an excellent process, conducted in the mind and really is just looking at things from the bright side. If you don't get the job after an interview, instead of focusing on the negative sides, you can learn from the positives. You learnt that you need to work on your interview technique, or that a certain technique didn't work in that scenario. Every situation is framed by each person, and understanding another persons view can allow you to empathise, or find a way to make them see it your way.
It can also help get you back into your comfort zone - but then, so can alcohol. Up to you I guess...
12/03/2010
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
I can have a wank soon!!!! Yes! So happy about that you have no idea!
but, other than the massive joy of being free of these damn restrictions I don't feel all that great, I have raised a fair bit for charity, and I'm hoping to raise more. But I certainly haven't gone through any big life changing moments, really I've just been me, but with extra mood swings. So to any guy thinking of doing similar, don't bother! Seriously, it's just like life, but without wanking or sex, and those are two of favourite things!
Fuck, I like SEX!
Anyway, I did it, I put myself through all this shit to raise some money, so you bastards had better donate!
Much love to everyone who has, and all those that have been cool in other ways. Even all you cute girls that have taunted me so!
but, other than the massive joy of being free of these damn restrictions I don't feel all that great, I have raised a fair bit for charity, and I'm hoping to raise more. But I certainly haven't gone through any big life changing moments, really I've just been me, but with extra mood swings. So to any guy thinking of doing similar, don't bother! Seriously, it's just like life, but without wanking or sex, and those are two of favourite things!
Fuck, I like SEX!
Anyway, I did it, I put myself through all this shit to raise some money, so you bastards had better donate!
Much love to everyone who has, and all those that have been cool in other ways. Even all you cute girls that have taunted me so!
10/03/2010
2 and a bit days to go!
right now I've got about 54 hours and 41 minutes to go :D
Nearly done. I'm actually starting to think this was kinda worth it! I've raised quite a bit of money and I should be able to raise as much again (so long as all you buggers that promised actually do donate!) I've proven to myself that I have self-control, I'm not a sex addict, and it's even started to put my priorities. I always used to say 'Bros before Hoes' (sorry to be so crude) but now I know it. Well, more like friends before a fuck, but the meaning is pretty much the same.
My friends are some of the greatest, so I'd rather not fuck them over, especially for just a shag. I might fuck 'em over for a 3way with japanese twins though - sorry guys!
However, I haven't felt that life changing epiphany I was kinda hoping for. I haven't been struck with the idea that a wife and kids is what I want. I'm still going to be the same old me, but I do intend to be a nicer person, so if I say something nice, just take the compliment, it doesn't always mean I'm hitting on you!
We'll see where things go after my holidays, I hope my life continues to be as awesome as it has been the last year or so :D
If you still haven't donated - please do! www.justgiving.com/40days
LOVE
Nearly done. I'm actually starting to think this was kinda worth it! I've raised quite a bit of money and I should be able to raise as much again (so long as all you buggers that promised actually do donate!) I've proven to myself that I have self-control, I'm not a sex addict, and it's even started to put my priorities. I always used to say 'Bros before Hoes' (sorry to be so crude) but now I know it. Well, more like friends before a fuck, but the meaning is pretty much the same.
My friends are some of the greatest, so I'd rather not fuck them over, especially for just a shag. I might fuck 'em over for a 3way with japanese twins though - sorry guys!
However, I haven't felt that life changing epiphany I was kinda hoping for. I haven't been struck with the idea that a wife and kids is what I want. I'm still going to be the same old me, but I do intend to be a nicer person, so if I say something nice, just take the compliment, it doesn't always mean I'm hitting on you!
We'll see where things go after my holidays, I hope my life continues to be as awesome as it has been the last year or so :D
If you still haven't donated - please do! www.justgiving.com/40days
LOVE
08/03/2010
5 days :D
Only 5 days to go people! I haven't slipped up yet, and I'm not going to now!
So if you've been waiting to donate, this is the time to do it!
All of you that promised, whether in person, or on facebook or wherever else, it's time to get your wallets out!
I'm £15 short of my half way point but I'm still hopefull I'll make the target. Remember, 40 days of misery at 50p a day is £20 ;) But please, if you can - give more! It's all for a good cause!
www.justgiving.com/40days
PS If I don't reach the target, then I'm going to keep nagging those that didn't donate until you do! So donate asap and maybe I'll shut the hell up!
So if you've been waiting to donate, this is the time to do it!
All of you that promised, whether in person, or on facebook or wherever else, it's time to get your wallets out!
I'm £15 short of my half way point but I'm still hopefull I'll make the target. Remember, 40 days of misery at 50p a day is £20 ;) But please, if you can - give more! It's all for a good cause!
www.justgiving.com/40days
PS If I don't reach the target, then I'm going to keep nagging those that didn't donate until you do! So donate asap and maybe I'll shut the hell up!
03/03/2010
The home stretch!
Less than 10 days to go now, it really feels like I'm nearly done. I've got just 7 days left of work, which makes me happy, considering how annoying it's got lately.
Anyway, I'm nearly done - I'm not gunna slip up now - so if you're waiting till I'm finished, may as well donate now - I'm not gunna slip up now, I'm too close to the end!
www.justgiving.com/40days
PS - boys, if any of you think you could do this - DON'T DO IT! It's just horrible! Don't even joke about it, and definitely don't commit, it's stupid and crazy and shit!
Anyway, I'm nearly done - I'm not gunna slip up now - so if you're waiting till I'm finished, may as well donate now - I'm not gunna slip up now, I'm too close to the end!
www.justgiving.com/40days
PS - boys, if any of you think you could do this - DON'T DO IT! It's just horrible! Don't even joke about it, and definitely don't commit, it's stupid and crazy and shit!
01/03/2010
This is getting hard!
Ok, I've done all of feburary - that's good, I've got about 10 and a half days left to go, but dispite the finishing line being finally in sight, It's getting really hard.
For all of you that wanted me to suffer, you can feel happy in yourselves, because I really am! I feel down a lot of the time, I'm finding it hard to concentrate on things, I am constantly getting aroused, and most disgustingly, getting messy :\ It's horrible and embarrassing, and something which I wasn't expecting to be so bad. My balls and now really sensitive, and my dick hurts after I've had a piss.
THIS IS NOT RIGHT!
I can't wait for this to be over, after going through so much I'm not gunna give up now. I can't and I won't.
This is day 29 of my torture - please donate, seeing that total rise is the only thing keeping me sane!
www.justgiving.com/40days
For all of you that wanted me to suffer, you can feel happy in yourselves, because I really am! I feel down a lot of the time, I'm finding it hard to concentrate on things, I am constantly getting aroused, and most disgustingly, getting messy :\ It's horrible and embarrassing, and something which I wasn't expecting to be so bad. My balls and now really sensitive, and my dick hurts after I've had a piss.
THIS IS NOT RIGHT!
I can't wait for this to be over, after going through so much I'm not gunna give up now. I can't and I won't.
This is day 29 of my torture - please donate, seeing that total rise is the only thing keeping me sane!
www.justgiving.com/40days
24/02/2010
A Sexless Update
It's day 24, over halfway, but not over the hard part. This challenge is getting harder and harder every day. I'm meeting more and more people and wanting more and more to busy with them. The idea of having a wank is something that almost makes me nervous with anticipation, I really want to, but now I've lasted this long it seems like such a waste.
I'm a little dissapointed by the amount that's been donated, I was hoping to get a bit more by now, but I do know a lot of people that have promised to donate some. Hopefully if all of them keep their word I'll break that £500 mark.
Some of you have asked why I choose Cancer Research to raise money for, it's great charity, that is making decent developments, and could stop the suffering of hundreds of thousands of people. But more than that, some of you already know, but I lost my Mum to cancer. This project is now too close to me to turn my back on, so no matter how sexy the girl, failing to me, would be like failing my Mum. Something I simply won't do. Some of you will understand what it's like to lose a parent, and this is my way of making her proud - so please help me do so.
This really means a lot to me, so every bit of support, and every donation, no matter how small really does help.
Thanks again to everyone who has donated, and to everyone who has shown their support in other ways.
Love to you all :) (but not physically obviously!)
www.justgiving.com/40days
I'm a little dissapointed by the amount that's been donated, I was hoping to get a bit more by now, but I do know a lot of people that have promised to donate some. Hopefully if all of them keep their word I'll break that £500 mark.
Some of you have asked why I choose Cancer Research to raise money for, it's great charity, that is making decent developments, and could stop the suffering of hundreds of thousands of people. But more than that, some of you already know, but I lost my Mum to cancer. This project is now too close to me to turn my back on, so no matter how sexy the girl, failing to me, would be like failing my Mum. Something I simply won't do. Some of you will understand what it's like to lose a parent, and this is my way of making her proud - so please help me do so.
This really means a lot to me, so every bit of support, and every donation, no matter how small really does help.
Thanks again to everyone who has donated, and to everyone who has shown their support in other ways.
Love to you all :) (but not physically obviously!)
www.justgiving.com/40days
21/02/2010
HALF WAY!
Yeaaaaah Boi!
So, I've reached the halfway point and I'm still going strong. I don't feel too affected by it personally, other than the constant urge to have a wank that is, and and wanting to have sex with pretty much every girl I see. Still, I'd like to think my standards are still pretty reasonable, it's the cute ones that are really screwing with my head.
I seem to be meeting more cool girls recently, which is a little annoying! Oh well, I'm gunna be on fire once this is over!
Anyway - Please please please donate some money, I'm halfway through and I've not got half the money yet, so if you were waiting to donate, now is a good time! It doesn't matter how much, anything from 20p to £200 is welcome, it's just great to know you support me.
And thanks to all the people that I've spoken to, it really does mean a lot to hear encouragement.
Peace and love (of the non-physical kind)
So, I've reached the halfway point and I'm still going strong. I don't feel too affected by it personally, other than the constant urge to have a wank that is, and and wanting to have sex with pretty much every girl I see. Still, I'd like to think my standards are still pretty reasonable, it's the cute ones that are really screwing with my head.
I seem to be meeting more cool girls recently, which is a little annoying! Oh well, I'm gunna be on fire once this is over!
Anyway - Please please please donate some money, I'm halfway through and I've not got half the money yet, so if you were waiting to donate, now is a good time! It doesn't matter how much, anything from 20p to £200 is welcome, it's just great to know you support me.
And thanks to all the people that I've spoken to, it really does mean a lot to hear encouragement.
Peace and love (of the non-physical kind)
12/02/2010
why valentines day sucks
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it for any particular reason, I just think it's generally a bad idea here's some reasons why
1) it's an expensive waste of time - you spend money on shit you don't need - cards end up in the bin, flowers wilt. (flowers are just as nice any other day, and less expensive!)
2) It's never balanced - one party will always spend/do more than the other, which can lead to several problems. The one who spent more feels unappreciated unloved or bitter, the one who is spoilt feels smothered, maybe scared of the level of commitment shown
3) It upsets other people, it's a massive festival that says 'sucks to be you' to everyone without a partner, which just ain't cool
4) It puts additional pressure on a new relationship. Guaging what to do for a new partner is always hard, you don't want to do too much, nor too little.
Yeah, that's why it sucks - I personally don't like to do too much, and if a girl went all out then I'd be very scared.
Here's what I suggest instead - Agree to spend nothing on each other, but instead show how much you love each other with personal gifts. Write them a letter, draw them a picture, make a collage of photos, write a song, fix that light in the bathroom they've been nagging about, do all the chores, something that shows you really care, not some shitty off the shelf romantic statement or a bunch of cliches.
Most importantly, remember - if you love someone, you will show them that everyday, not just valentines.
1) it's an expensive waste of time - you spend money on shit you don't need - cards end up in the bin, flowers wilt. (flowers are just as nice any other day, and less expensive!)
2) It's never balanced - one party will always spend/do more than the other, which can lead to several problems. The one who spent more feels unappreciated unloved or bitter, the one who is spoilt feels smothered, maybe scared of the level of commitment shown
3) It upsets other people, it's a massive festival that says 'sucks to be you' to everyone without a partner, which just ain't cool
4) It puts additional pressure on a new relationship. Guaging what to do for a new partner is always hard, you don't want to do too much, nor too little.
Yeah, that's why it sucks - I personally don't like to do too much, and if a girl went all out then I'd be very scared.
Here's what I suggest instead - Agree to spend nothing on each other, but instead show how much you love each other with personal gifts. Write them a letter, draw them a picture, make a collage of photos, write a song, fix that light in the bathroom they've been nagging about, do all the chores, something that shows you really care, not some shitty off the shelf romantic statement or a bunch of cliches.
Most importantly, remember - if you love someone, you will show them that everyday, not just valentines.
10/02/2010
day 10
Well, in 7 more hours I will have completed one whole quarter of my challenge.
I won't lie, I wish I hadn't done this now, but I said I would and I'm going to get it done. I used to think about sex a lot, but before it was a nice thought, now all it does is remind me of what I can't do. I keep ending up talking about sex, which doesn't make things any better, and sitting on the front website. I even checked out a new porn site the other night - it looked good but I've got 30 more days before I can appreciate it!
While I might well want my sex, I'm getting lots of time to play games and watch films, catching up on old werewolf movies and Ghost in the Shell atm - Recomendations welcome for more ways to keep my hands busy!
Oh yeah - I've also started doing more exercise - maybe I'll grow a muscle!
I won't lie, I wish I hadn't done this now, but I said I would and I'm going to get it done. I used to think about sex a lot, but before it was a nice thought, now all it does is remind me of what I can't do. I keep ending up talking about sex, which doesn't make things any better, and sitting on the front website. I even checked out a new porn site the other night - it looked good but I've got 30 more days before I can appreciate it!
While I might well want my sex, I'm getting lots of time to play games and watch films, catching up on old werewolf movies and Ghost in the Shell atm - Recomendations welcome for more ways to keep my hands busy!
Oh yeah - I've also started doing more exercise - maybe I'll grow a muscle!
09/02/2010
Girls who model...
I think this is gunna cause some controvesy - I don't mean it too, and I don't mean any offence - so please don't take any.
I have nothing against models, or modelling of any sort. Putting hot girls in clothes sure works, putting hot girls playing games works, putting hot girls near anything will help it sell. Putting hot girls anywhere will make people want to look at it!
But, I know a lot of girls who want to be models (some are doing pretty damn well, some are doing good, some who look gorgeous, some who look good)and it seems to me there's rather an overwhelming amount of them at the moment - meaning competition is harder so:
1) It's not that you're not pretty, it's that she's prettier.
Unless you're really arrogant you know there are going to be people who are better looking than you, and these people may well get the job. So don't get upset because you're too XXX for the job.
Also, remember who you are. Not everyone is the same style - I'm sure most of the girls I know want to model for Drop Dead or Babycakes or Johnny Cupcakes, but there's not a lot of spaces within those jobs. So, if you've got tattoos and piercings you're narrowing your own market so:
2) being alternative makes you stand out - not always a good thing
People need relate to the people selling them shit, so unless you're lucky enough to be selling alt gear, the alt look won't help much. Your style is something you can change, but one thing you can't is you. Plain and simple, if high and mighty is looking for models then someone like me (shortish and skinny) is just not gunna work! It may not be so obvious as that, but you could be stunning and not get it because your face is wrong so:
3) being you is enough for them to say no - it's not personal
Finally, the people that choose models probably look at thousands of people a week, going for a job seems a total lottery to me!
Still, if you're willing to get yourself an awesome portfolio of shots and go for every job that comes up you could well end up doing it and good on you.
I know I know fuck all about the modelling/fashion world, but that's my impression. I don't want you to think I'm some knob, I'm just putting my view out there, and all I see is girls upset by rejection letters (and a couple getting work!) and it makes me wonder.
I couldn't do it myself, I wouldn't like the rejection, and I'd hate to live in the hands of the casting people. I like to do things for myself, not be chosen!
well, it's possible that's all shite - I'm sure you'll tell me if it is :)
I have nothing against models, or modelling of any sort. Putting hot girls in clothes sure works, putting hot girls playing games works, putting hot girls near anything will help it sell. Putting hot girls anywhere will make people want to look at it!
But, I know a lot of girls who want to be models (some are doing pretty damn well, some are doing good, some who look gorgeous, some who look good)and it seems to me there's rather an overwhelming amount of them at the moment - meaning competition is harder so:
1) It's not that you're not pretty, it's that she's prettier.
Unless you're really arrogant you know there are going to be people who are better looking than you, and these people may well get the job. So don't get upset because you're too XXX for the job.
Also, remember who you are. Not everyone is the same style - I'm sure most of the girls I know want to model for Drop Dead or Babycakes or Johnny Cupcakes, but there's not a lot of spaces within those jobs. So, if you've got tattoos and piercings you're narrowing your own market so:
2) being alternative makes you stand out - not always a good thing
People need relate to the people selling them shit, so unless you're lucky enough to be selling alt gear, the alt look won't help much. Your style is something you can change, but one thing you can't is you. Plain and simple, if high and mighty is looking for models then someone like me (shortish and skinny) is just not gunna work! It may not be so obvious as that, but you could be stunning and not get it because your face is wrong so:
3) being you is enough for them to say no - it's not personal
Finally, the people that choose models probably look at thousands of people a week, going for a job seems a total lottery to me!
Still, if you're willing to get yourself an awesome portfolio of shots and go for every job that comes up you could well end up doing it and good on you.
I know I know fuck all about the modelling/fashion world, but that's my impression. I don't want you to think I'm some knob, I'm just putting my view out there, and all I see is girls upset by rejection letters (and a couple getting work!) and it makes me wonder.
I couldn't do it myself, I wouldn't like the rejection, and I'd hate to live in the hands of the casting people. I like to do things for myself, not be chosen!
well, it's possible that's all shite - I'm sure you'll tell me if it is :)
02/02/2010
1 down...
Ok, day one complete, I only touched myself to pee, and I limited it to two shakes - more than 2 and you're playing with yourself.
In other news,
Hardcore - Old School hardcore seems to be making a resurgence, which is good and is certainly a way to go away from the hideousness of the Teen Hearts Fiasco. I like my hardcore, but the more I hear, the more I feel I've heard it all before. There's a lot of the chunky chords and shouting, and every now and again theres a bit that reminds me of Million Dead. So I tend to get part way through, and switch to Harmony No Harmony. It's nice to see something like Hardcore coming back, but it's a victim of it's own simplicity - there's only so much of this kind of thing that can be made. I'd like to see some more progression really, and while bands like Ghost Of A Thousand are putting on kick-ass live shows, it doesn't really work...
I'd like to hear a combination of them and Blakfish, more traditional heaviness than Blakfish, but more technical quirky bits than GOAT...
Well, I've just made a new band - maybe we'll do it ;)
In other news,
Hardcore - Old School hardcore seems to be making a resurgence, which is good and is certainly a way to go away from the hideousness of the Teen Hearts Fiasco. I like my hardcore, but the more I hear, the more I feel I've heard it all before. There's a lot of the chunky chords and shouting, and every now and again theres a bit that reminds me of Million Dead. So I tend to get part way through, and switch to Harmony No Harmony. It's nice to see something like Hardcore coming back, but it's a victim of it's own simplicity - there's only so much of this kind of thing that can be made. I'd like to see some more progression really, and while bands like Ghost Of A Thousand are putting on kick-ass live shows, it doesn't really work...
I'd like to hear a combination of them and Blakfish, more traditional heaviness than Blakfish, but more technical quirky bits than GOAT...
Well, I've just made a new band - maybe we'll do it ;)
31/01/2010
100th blog - and 1 day from VDay!
Fuck.
I actually stop having sex tomorrow - nothing, actually nothing.
Fuck.
You buggers better donate!
I actually stop having sex tomorrow - nothing, actually nothing.
Fuck.
You buggers better donate!
29/01/2010
22/01/2010
Valentines day!
I'm missing it!
I can't kiss anyone, or do anything interesting on that day at all! So, to make me feel just a little better please donate! Remember every little does help, and this is going to be epically hard for me so PLEASE give as much as you can!
Luckily I'll be able to have sex on March 14th which is also known as steak and blowjob day or manentines day :D
PLEASE DONATE!
I can't kiss anyone, or do anything interesting on that day at all! So, to make me feel just a little better please donate! Remember every little does help, and this is going to be epically hard for me so PLEASE give as much as you can!
Luckily I'll be able to have sex on March 14th which is also known as steak and blowjob day or manentines day :D
PLEASE DONATE!
20/01/2010
The Reason Girls Aren't Happy... Maybe
Ok, so lots of things happen, and I'm often wrong - I don't think a single girl will agree with me on this, but as far as I can tell this is what is happening.
It's why dating doesn't exist anymore.
It might be easiest to explain this as a story...
Boy and Girl are at a club, they bump into each other at the bar and get talking, it all goes quite nicely, maybe they kiss maybe they don't - but they do exchange numbers. For the next couple of days they text, then it moves to facebook and onto msn. They feel like they're getting to know each other pretty well, the guy is charming and lovely and pretty ok looking. so, they go out on a date.
Pause
Right now the guy is thinking, score a date - we can see where this leads. Afterall that's what a date is, a chance to really get to know the other person, see if they're the kind of person you'd like to see more of.
But, the girl is thinking, (unless they're a total weirdo) that this is the start of the relationship, they can stop flirting with other boys, they can relax, it's boyfriend time.
Chances are they'll have sex pretty soon after this, as that's what couples do, but if that was what the guy was after then that girl is gunna be heartbroken, or even if the guy is looking for a relationship, what if he doesn't see her as the girl for him? It looks like he was just after sex anyway, and she gets heartbroken.
This is why I stopped doing dates - dates allude to something more - but that's not the point.
My point is that boys and girls are not at the same stages in a relationship at the same time until much later. And this is the fault of the girl. Yes, it is, because by delaying a date until you 'get to know them' on msn you're getting an emotional attachement. There isn't supposed to be a pre-date but now there is - and it's fucking people about. Boys getting trapped in relationships and girls getting hurt simply because of all the additional comunication. It's not one persons fault really - boys and girls are just on different pages (until the girl tells the boy off and skips him forward a few!)
To back-up my argument I asked the girls around me whether they'd meet up someone they'd met once in a bar, even after a lot of texts and a couple calls they all said no.
THAT IS WHEN A DATE IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!
These girls said they'd like to meet up with them when with their friends, and get to know them better in that kind of safer environment - fair enough, but eventually, it's going to go to facebook etc. The girls expectations grows as they chat online, while the guys doesn't at all - because guys can't get attached to words on a screen. Then it comes to date time and the girls expectations are way higher - again leading to dissapointment.
I've seen this happen a lot of times, with either the guy trapped (sometimes happily) or the girl upset. And it's happening to me at the moment, building rapport with someone I don't want a relationship with, if I ever manage to convince her to see me she may already be beyond the attachment point, and will end up hurt :(
There's only a few ways to deal with this.
1) Girls, meet these guys a lot earlier, realise they're not quite as lovely as they seem online and give them a chance to obsess about you. Boys need face time - we have porn, so chatting about your cat is not gunna make us fall for you!
2) Boys, if you want a relationship with the girl - great, you've got it. If not - be brutally honest as soon as you possibly can be. The girl will hate the loss of romance and propect of something more, but she will respect your honesty. I've blown my chances a few times, but it's better to go home alone than hurt a girl.
GOT IT?
Oh, and don't give anyone who fucks you around, I'm sure you've all found that out the hard way, and probably will again.
It's why dating doesn't exist anymore.
It might be easiest to explain this as a story...
Boy and Girl are at a club, they bump into each other at the bar and get talking, it all goes quite nicely, maybe they kiss maybe they don't - but they do exchange numbers. For the next couple of days they text, then it moves to facebook and onto msn. They feel like they're getting to know each other pretty well, the guy is charming and lovely and pretty ok looking. so, they go out on a date.
Pause
Right now the guy is thinking, score a date - we can see where this leads. Afterall that's what a date is, a chance to really get to know the other person, see if they're the kind of person you'd like to see more of.
But, the girl is thinking, (unless they're a total weirdo) that this is the start of the relationship, they can stop flirting with other boys, they can relax, it's boyfriend time.
Chances are they'll have sex pretty soon after this, as that's what couples do, but if that was what the guy was after then that girl is gunna be heartbroken, or even if the guy is looking for a relationship, what if he doesn't see her as the girl for him? It looks like he was just after sex anyway, and she gets heartbroken.
This is why I stopped doing dates - dates allude to something more - but that's not the point.
My point is that boys and girls are not at the same stages in a relationship at the same time until much later. And this is the fault of the girl. Yes, it is, because by delaying a date until you 'get to know them' on msn you're getting an emotional attachement. There isn't supposed to be a pre-date but now there is - and it's fucking people about. Boys getting trapped in relationships and girls getting hurt simply because of all the additional comunication. It's not one persons fault really - boys and girls are just on different pages (until the girl tells the boy off and skips him forward a few!)
To back-up my argument I asked the girls around me whether they'd meet up someone they'd met once in a bar, even after a lot of texts and a couple calls they all said no.
THAT IS WHEN A DATE IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!
These girls said they'd like to meet up with them when with their friends, and get to know them better in that kind of safer environment - fair enough, but eventually, it's going to go to facebook etc. The girls expectations grows as they chat online, while the guys doesn't at all - because guys can't get attached to words on a screen. Then it comes to date time and the girls expectations are way higher - again leading to dissapointment.
I've seen this happen a lot of times, with either the guy trapped (sometimes happily) or the girl upset. And it's happening to me at the moment, building rapport with someone I don't want a relationship with, if I ever manage to convince her to see me she may already be beyond the attachment point, and will end up hurt :(
There's only a few ways to deal with this.
1) Girls, meet these guys a lot earlier, realise they're not quite as lovely as they seem online and give them a chance to obsess about you. Boys need face time - we have porn, so chatting about your cat is not gunna make us fall for you!
2) Boys, if you want a relationship with the girl - great, you've got it. If not - be brutally honest as soon as you possibly can be. The girl will hate the loss of romance and propect of something more, but she will respect your honesty. I've blown my chances a few times, but it's better to go home alone than hurt a girl.
GOT IT?
Oh, and don't give anyone who fucks you around, I'm sure you've all found that out the hard way, and probably will again.
14/01/2010
WTF
Tonight I got stood up for the third time in a row.
When did I become such a fool to allow this to happen?
Someone get me out of this - this is NOT who I am.
When did I become such a fool to allow this to happen?
Someone get me out of this - this is NOT who I am.
10/01/2010
SEX!
hello people
I'm giving up sex for 40 days and 40 nights! It's gunna be hard, but I'm doing it for charity so I'm pretty confident! This is where I'll be keeping a log of how I'm doing, as far as how much money I raise, and how I'm doing personally. I'm sure a few of you might be interested on how much I'm suffering so I'll be posting it here (and facebook will be re-posting it to my notes)
I have a justgiving page now - please go and donate. It looks rather depressing atm! www.justgiving.com/40days
I am NOT looking forward to feb 1st!
I'm giving up sex for 40 days and 40 nights! It's gunna be hard, but I'm doing it for charity so I'm pretty confident! This is where I'll be keeping a log of how I'm doing, as far as how much money I raise, and how I'm doing personally. I'm sure a few of you might be interested on how much I'm suffering so I'll be posting it here (and facebook will be re-posting it to my notes)
I have a justgiving page now - please go and donate. It looks rather depressing atm! www.justgiving.com/40days
I am NOT looking forward to feb 1st!
17/11/2009
Sexism in Rock
Is bullshit.
And if you think there is - you're wrong.
I've never played in a band that has been exclusively male, that fact the every performer has been a guy is only a reflection of the people available. If more girls played guitar (and I mean actually played guitar, not just had a pretty acoustic in the corner of their room) then I'm sure more girls would be in bands. It's a pretty simple link to make. Oh, and the same goes for racism, I don't give a shit where someone is from, who they are, what they do, so long as they're cool and can play their damn instrument properly.
In fact I've been in bands with Iranians, Asians, Greeks, the Welsh, Girls, Christians, Jews, Germans, Lesbians, Gays, Fat people, I'm even combining a few stereo types recently with a new project with an Asian Lesbian on guitar.
And guess what! It doesn't matter at all, she does her job and is cool. Nothing else to it.
People who like music don't care who make it - if it's genuine and makes you nod your head then that's all that matters.
And girls - if I hear you bitching about how hard it is for a girl in rock music, take a second and think whether if it's any harder for you than anyone else. And if I hear you bitching about how few girls there are, then I have only one question for you. What do you play?
Side note:
Emo songs about who evil girls are - I'll admit there's a fair few songs about girls that have broken boys hearts, but I'm sure the same is true for the other way around, plus the amount of shitty TV shows and films that put boys in the role of evil bastard more than makes up for it! Everyone hurts after a break up, I guess these guys just have the talent to get paid to sing about it!
Smile folks - music is made to be enjoyed :)
And if you think there is - you're wrong.
I've never played in a band that has been exclusively male, that fact the every performer has been a guy is only a reflection of the people available. If more girls played guitar (and I mean actually played guitar, not just had a pretty acoustic in the corner of their room) then I'm sure more girls would be in bands. It's a pretty simple link to make. Oh, and the same goes for racism, I don't give a shit where someone is from, who they are, what they do, so long as they're cool and can play their damn instrument properly.
In fact I've been in bands with Iranians, Asians, Greeks, the Welsh, Girls, Christians, Jews, Germans, Lesbians, Gays, Fat people, I'm even combining a few stereo types recently with a new project with an Asian Lesbian on guitar.
And guess what! It doesn't matter at all, she does her job and is cool. Nothing else to it.
People who like music don't care who make it - if it's genuine and makes you nod your head then that's all that matters.
And girls - if I hear you bitching about how hard it is for a girl in rock music, take a second and think whether if it's any harder for you than anyone else. And if I hear you bitching about how few girls there are, then I have only one question for you. What do you play?
Side note:
Emo songs about who evil girls are - I'll admit there's a fair few songs about girls that have broken boys hearts, but I'm sure the same is true for the other way around, plus the amount of shitty TV shows and films that put boys in the role of evil bastard more than makes up for it! Everyone hurts after a break up, I guess these guys just have the talent to get paid to sing about it!
Smile folks - music is made to be enjoyed :)
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