The Reason Girls Aren't Happy... Maybe

Ok, so lots of things happen, and I'm often wrong - I don't think a single girl will agree with me on this, but as far as I can tell this is what is happening.

It's why dating doesn't exist anymore.

It might be easiest to explain this as a story...

Boy and Girl are at a club, they bump into each other at the bar and get talking, it all goes quite nicely, maybe they kiss maybe they don't - but they do exchange numbers. For the next couple of days they text, then it moves to facebook and onto msn. They feel like they're getting to know each other pretty well, the guy is charming and lovely and pretty ok looking. so, they go out on a date.

Pause

Right now the guy is thinking, score a date - we can see where this leads. Afterall that's what a date is, a chance to really get to know the other person, see if they're the kind of person you'd like to see more of.

But, the girl is thinking, (unless they're a total weirdo) that this is the start of the relationship, they can stop flirting with other boys, they can relax, it's boyfriend time.

Chances are they'll have sex pretty soon after this, as that's what couples do, but if that was what the guy was after then that girl is gunna be heartbroken, or even if the guy is looking for a relationship, what if he doesn't see her as the girl for him? It looks like he was just after sex anyway, and she gets heartbroken.

This is why I stopped doing dates - dates allude to something more - but that's not the point.

My point is that boys and girls are not at the same stages in a relationship at the same time until much later. And this is the fault of the girl. Yes, it is, because by delaying a date until you 'get to know them' on msn you're getting an emotional attachement. There isn't supposed to be a pre-date but now there is - and it's fucking people about. Boys getting trapped in relationships and girls getting hurt simply because of all the additional comunication. It's not one persons fault really - boys and girls are just on different pages (until the girl tells the boy off and skips him forward a few!)

To back-up my argument I asked the girls around me whether they'd meet up someone they'd met once in a bar, even after a lot of texts and a couple calls they all said no.

THAT IS WHEN A DATE IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!

These girls said they'd like to meet up with them when with their friends, and get to know them better in that kind of safer environment - fair enough, but eventually, it's going to go to facebook etc. The girls expectations grows as they chat online, while the guys doesn't at all - because guys can't get attached to words on a screen. Then it comes to date time and the girls expectations are way higher - again leading to dissapointment.

I've seen this happen a lot of times, with either the guy trapped (sometimes happily) or the girl upset. And it's happening to me at the moment, building rapport with someone I don't want a relationship with, if I ever manage to convince her to see me she may already be beyond the attachment point, and will end up hurt :(

There's only a few ways to deal with this.

1) Girls, meet these guys a lot earlier, realise they're not quite as lovely as they seem online and give them a chance to obsess about you. Boys need face time - we have porn, so chatting about your cat is not gunna make us fall for you!
2) Boys, if you want a relationship with the girl - great, you've got it. If not - be brutally honest as soon as you possibly can be. The girl will hate the loss of romance and propect of something more, but she will respect your honesty. I've blown my chances a few times, but it's better to go home alone than hurt a girl.

GOT IT?

Oh, and don't give anyone who fucks you around, I'm sure you've all found that out the hard way, and probably will again.