Where I hate everything and everyone I know :)
I'm just wound up because I let myself get fucked over by some people very close to me.
I've been working myself up today, and I don't know why. I fight this shit all the time, and try not to let it get in the way. I also try not to let it become a burden on other people, but right now if I wasn't writing this I'd probably be punching something.
I'll get over it, and move on like always - everyone has shit, and mine ain't that bad really, I'll deal with it. Tomorrow you fuckers won't have a clue.
Fuck this city.
02/12/2010
11/11/2010
Goals...
I got an email a week or two ago from a man called Neil Strauss. He wrote my favourite book ‘The Game’ and quite a few others, which are also awesome.
It was an email about time managment and goals, and while I have now read it about 3 times, I thought I should actually write down some of my responces.
If you want a copy of the original I’d be happy to forward it to you.
1. My time is worth about £5.50 an hour. That’s my hourly wage, and the average of what I worked last year. Not much, but I am a student, so if we include the costs of that I get nearly £20 an hour :D
2. To do lists - time to start using the windows sidebar again, with a big old list of shit I need to do!
3. link what I do to my goals. Uni - getting a degree, working - earning money for my boarding course, music - to make me happy!
4. People who suck up my time… not too many of them thankfully!
5. Turn off phone and email when working. I NEED to do this!
6. Remove facebook/tumblr from my view, so I don’t keep checking!
7. Exercise everyday - increase focus
8. Log time usage
9. Limit internet use
10. Do the big things first, not the easiest.
11. Goals: To play in kick-ass bands as much as I can, be involved with music, and experience as much as I can as often as I can. Gigs, albums, promotion, management, and playing bass. To finish my degree and get a 2:1 at least. To leave the UK and complete a snowboard instructor course abroad, then become an instructor and snowboard everyday. To travel as much as possible and see as much as this world has to offer me before I die.
It was an email about time managment and goals, and while I have now read it about 3 times, I thought I should actually write down some of my responces.
If you want a copy of the original I’d be happy to forward it to you.
1. My time is worth about £5.50 an hour. That’s my hourly wage, and the average of what I worked last year. Not much, but I am a student, so if we include the costs of that I get nearly £20 an hour :D
2. To do lists - time to start using the windows sidebar again, with a big old list of shit I need to do!
3. link what I do to my goals. Uni - getting a degree, working - earning money for my boarding course, music - to make me happy!
4. People who suck up my time… not too many of them thankfully!
5. Turn off phone and email when working. I NEED to do this!
6. Remove facebook/tumblr from my view, so I don’t keep checking!
7. Exercise everyday - increase focus
8. Log time usage
9. Limit internet use
10. Do the big things first, not the easiest.
11. Goals: To play in kick-ass bands as much as I can, be involved with music, and experience as much as I can as often as I can. Gigs, albums, promotion, management, and playing bass. To finish my degree and get a 2:1 at least. To leave the UK and complete a snowboard instructor course abroad, then become an instructor and snowboard everyday. To travel as much as possible and see as much as this world has to offer me before I die.
05/10/2010
Go Google Yourself
Last week I was talking with a few guys on my uni course, nice guys, (check out Jamies music project Seams) and up came the topic of googling yourself. It's a pretty vain thing to do, but when you're running a business, or a band, or anything that people might be looking for, it's good to be on Google! Jamie is the 3rd one down when you type in 'seams'.
My band, A City Within are 2nd down with their name, just below the BBC, so that's good new there.
But when I type in my name, it takes a little while! Ben Duff finds me part way down the second page, with my defunct bebo account. My facebook/myspace/tumblr/blog are no-where to be seen in the first 5 pages, although the bands facebook page makes an appearance.
I guess this is due to my nickname Terra, and my online username terrorvision101, so lets try those.
Terra duff is a great sucess! The top 5 sites all link to my profiles, with two sub-domains which both are related to me. It wanders into Hillary Duff a little further down. The same goes for Terrorvision101, monopolising the first page.
So, I guess if you really want to get on google, chose a stupid name!
Have fun with it ;)
My band, A City Within are 2nd down with their name, just below the BBC, so that's good new there.
But when I type in my name, it takes a little while! Ben Duff finds me part way down the second page, with my defunct bebo account. My facebook/myspace/tumblr/blog are no-where to be seen in the first 5 pages, although the bands facebook page makes an appearance.
I guess this is due to my nickname Terra, and my online username terrorvision101, so lets try those.
Terra duff is a great sucess! The top 5 sites all link to my profiles, with two sub-domains which both are related to me. It wanders into Hillary Duff a little further down. The same goes for Terrorvision101, monopolising the first page.
So, I guess if you really want to get on google, chose a stupid name!
Have fun with it ;)
25/09/2010
There's a lot been going on.
I haven't written in my journal in even longer than I haven't written this.
A lot of things have happened since my last update, all of which felt so important at the time, but now it's all subsided, and I'm left with the most recent events burning their effects across my mind.
In brief, I've moved back to Birmingham, worked a little a couple of record labels, got a girlfriend, broken up with girlfriend, changed my plans for the future several times, stressed myself, travel from Birmingham to London more times than I can remember, made some great new friends, probably lost some others (looking at the way my FB friend count goes up and down all the time), but I've been having fun and enjoying my life while doing all that. I may look miserable, and sound melancholic, but truthfully I'm very happy. Maybe it's arrogance, but I like the person I am on the whole.
One year to go of Uni, then I have a big decision to make. I can stay in Birmingham and work my ass off to make enough money to go abroad and train to become a snowboard teacher, or at least do a season or two out there boarding as much as possible. OR I can move back to London and start interning again working my way slowly into the music industry, which is where I'd like to end up.
But of course a lot of this depends on the band, which band I don't know yet, but if A City Within are still going I'd like to think we'd be in a place to start getting a bit more serious. So if that's doing well then, build up a massive debt paying for everything that a band needs and have a great few years playing shows and making records. That's the dream anyway.
In the meanwhile, I found a great promoters in Birmingham, so I can finally go and see good bands and not be on my own!
A lot of things have happened since my last update, all of which felt so important at the time, but now it's all subsided, and I'm left with the most recent events burning their effects across my mind.
In brief, I've moved back to Birmingham, worked a little a couple of record labels, got a girlfriend, broken up with girlfriend, changed my plans for the future several times, stressed myself, travel from Birmingham to London more times than I can remember, made some great new friends, probably lost some others (looking at the way my FB friend count goes up and down all the time), but I've been having fun and enjoying my life while doing all that. I may look miserable, and sound melancholic, but truthfully I'm very happy. Maybe it's arrogance, but I like the person I am on the whole.
One year to go of Uni, then I have a big decision to make. I can stay in Birmingham and work my ass off to make enough money to go abroad and train to become a snowboard teacher, or at least do a season or two out there boarding as much as possible. OR I can move back to London and start interning again working my way slowly into the music industry, which is where I'd like to end up.
But of course a lot of this depends on the band, which band I don't know yet, but if A City Within are still going I'd like to think we'd be in a place to start getting a bit more serious. So if that's doing well then, build up a massive debt paying for everything that a band needs and have a great few years playing shows and making records. That's the dream anyway.
In the meanwhile, I found a great promoters in Birmingham, so I can finally go and see good bands and not be on my own!
22/08/2010
Whoops....
I just noticed that this blog is sub-titled 'notes from the scene' I haven't exactly been doing that lately! Oh well, I doubt any reads it anyway!
Friends
I noticed today that I'd lost a few friends on facebook, not a biggie really, I've got way too many on there already, but it made me wonder.
Why are people removing me?
Am I too irrelevant for them? There's a lot of people on there that I went to primary school with, or met once at a show, or something similar, so we don't talk ever. But what made them think of me, and want to remove me? Or do I spam my invites and suggestions too much? I've only suggested my band in the last few months, and can only send one request to each person, so surely that's not too much?
So maybe there's just something about me they don't like. Sounds quite depressing really, but there's no one gone that I miss (I don't actually know who deleted me!) I wonder what it could be...
Why are people removing me?
Am I too irrelevant for them? There's a lot of people on there that I went to primary school with, or met once at a show, or something similar, so we don't talk ever. But what made them think of me, and want to remove me? Or do I spam my invites and suggestions too much? I've only suggested my band in the last few months, and can only send one request to each person, so surely that's not too much?
So maybe there's just something about me they don't like. Sounds quite depressing really, but there's no one gone that I miss (I don't actually know who deleted me!) I wonder what it could be...
08/07/2010
lame thing...
I've edited this pretty heavily to make it work for the UK, and to get rid of the shit questions
.Time: 22:41
.Hair: Different, still blond
.Last Dream: I don't/don't remember dreams
.Favourite drink: Coke
.Dream/goal: Professional Musician, not famous, but living on it
.Room I'm in: My bedroom
.Fears: I have no irrational fears
.Where I want to be in 6 years: Playing bass, or snowboarding
.One of your wish list items: For my ears to stretch to 25mm already
.Hometown: Launceston, Cornwall
.Last thing I did? Had diner with my girlfriend and read a comic on the tube
.Wearing: It's hot, so just shorts
.TV: Doesn't exist
.Pets: None, but the housemates have 3 cats and 2 goldfish
.Computer: Self-built (with help!) PC and Macbook
.Life: Is great
.Mood: Happy, but nervous
.Missing: a couple people
.Car: Only car I owned was a ford fiesta, it was awesome
.Favourite store: Forbidden Planet
.Summer: Is wasted on the brits
.Favourite colour: No idea
.Last time I laughed: At dinner
.Last time I cried: I shed a tear or two last night
.Three people who email: Sarah, Rob, Scott, Chris, Matt, Elyssha, Leo
.Favourite foods: Chocolate ice cream, Curry, meatball marinara
.Three places I would rather be right now: Whistler, with sarah, on stage
.Three people I think will respond: Sarah, Sam, erm...
100 TRUTHS:
001. Real name: Benjamin Robert Duff
002. Nickname(s): Terra
004. Zodiac sign: Libra
005. Male or female: Male
006. Primary School: St. Catherines
007. Secondary School: Wadebridge School
008. College: Wadebridge 6th Form
009. University: Aston, then Birmingham City University
010. Hair colour: Brownish ginger, but bleached blond
011. Hair style: Mostly shaved, with a top
012. Loud or Quiet: Loud
013. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans
014. Phone or Camera: Phone
015. Health freak: No
016. Drink/Smoke: No
017. Crush: I guess it is
018. A Night in or out: Out
019. Piercings: Snakebites, double nostril, nostril, 2x8mm stretch + 2x24mm stretchers, upper ear, tongue, 2xlorum. Previously, 2xanti-eyebrow, anti tragus, spiderbites.
020. Tattoos: 3 Xs left hand, 'striaght edge' left wrsit, 'Blindfolds aside' outside lower left arm, various geeky symbols around the left elbow, 'We're All Thieves' outside upper left arm, 3 Xs behind left ear, Star left shoulder, lyrics to 'There's Nothing More Romantic Than Watching The World Die' right shoulder, '<3' right side, anti-anti symbol left stomach, cartoon face left knee, 3 Xs left knee, 'K' left ankle, '10001' left ankle, 3 Xs left ankle, stickman left ankle, rose right calf, 'edge' inside lip.
021. Work at: IFPI
022. Single or relationship: Relationship
FIRSTS:
023. First piercing: Upper ear
024. First best friend: Ian Horn
025. First award: No idea
026. First crush: Jessica... something, about year 5
027. First pet: Ginger cat, Tammy
030. First big birthday: Played a gig for my friends in the bar I worked on the 18th
CURRENTLY:
049. Eating: Nothing
050. Drinking: Nothing
052. I'm about to: Play left4Dead2
053. Listening: Circa Survive - Juturna
055. Waiting for: Recording with A City Within at the weekend
056. Looking forward to: Our first gig next week, and leaving work
057. Loving: Music, as always, and maybe the girl just a little
YOUR FUTURE
058. Kids: adopting, lets not crowd this world anymore, and saving a kid from a shit life would be so rewarded
059. Marriage: I don't know
060. Careers: Musician (I wish!) Snowboarding instructor, music label A&R
WHICH IS BETTER?:
068. Lips or eyes: Eyes
070. Shorter or taller? Shorter than me
072. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous
073. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both
074. Sensitive or loud: Loud
075. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship, but only recently!
076. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker
077. Skinny or muscular: Skinny
HAVE YOU EVER?:
078. Been in love: I don't know
079. Cheated on someone: Yes
080. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't need them
081. Ran away from home: No
082. Held a weapon for self defence: No
083. Killed somebody: No
084. Broken someone's heart: I've been told so, but it seems to be better now
085. Been arrested: No
087. Cried when someone died: My Mum
088. Kissed someone when not in a relationship: Yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself: Completely
090. Miracles: No, there is no chance in the world only unpredictability
091. Love at first sight: No
092. Heaven: No
093. Santa Claus: No
094. Sex on first date: Yes
095. Kissing on the first date: Yes
096. Tooth fairy: No
097. God: No
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
098. Is there one person you want to be with right now: Yes
099. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life: It's been a rough week or two, but I wouldn't change my life for the world
100. Are you a massive loser? Clearly...
.Time: 22:41
.Hair: Different, still blond
.Last Dream: I don't/don't remember dreams
.Favourite drink: Coke
.Dream/goal: Professional Musician, not famous, but living on it
.Room I'm in: My bedroom
.Fears: I have no irrational fears
.Where I want to be in 6 years: Playing bass, or snowboarding
.One of your wish list items: For my ears to stretch to 25mm already
.Hometown: Launceston, Cornwall
.Last thing I did? Had diner with my girlfriend and read a comic on the tube
.Wearing: It's hot, so just shorts
.TV: Doesn't exist
.Pets: None, but the housemates have 3 cats and 2 goldfish
.Computer: Self-built (with help!) PC and Macbook
.Life: Is great
.Mood: Happy, but nervous
.Missing: a couple people
.Car: Only car I owned was a ford fiesta, it was awesome
.Favourite store: Forbidden Planet
.Summer: Is wasted on the brits
.Favourite colour: No idea
.Last time I laughed: At dinner
.Last time I cried: I shed a tear or two last night
.Three people who email: Sarah, Rob, Scott, Chris, Matt, Elyssha, Leo
.Favourite foods: Chocolate ice cream, Curry, meatball marinara
.Three places I would rather be right now: Whistler, with sarah, on stage
.Three people I think will respond: Sarah, Sam, erm...
100 TRUTHS:
001. Real name: Benjamin Robert Duff
002. Nickname(s): Terra
004. Zodiac sign: Libra
005. Male or female: Male
006. Primary School: St. Catherines
007. Secondary School: Wadebridge School
008. College: Wadebridge 6th Form
009. University: Aston, then Birmingham City University
010. Hair colour: Brownish ginger, but bleached blond
011. Hair style: Mostly shaved, with a top
012. Loud or Quiet: Loud
013. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans
014. Phone or Camera: Phone
015. Health freak: No
016. Drink/Smoke: No
017. Crush: I guess it is
018. A Night in or out: Out
019. Piercings: Snakebites, double nostril, nostril, 2x8mm stretch + 2x24mm stretchers, upper ear, tongue, 2xlorum. Previously, 2xanti-eyebrow, anti tragus, spiderbites.
020. Tattoos: 3 Xs left hand, 'striaght edge' left wrsit, 'Blindfolds aside' outside lower left arm, various geeky symbols around the left elbow, 'We're All Thieves' outside upper left arm, 3 Xs behind left ear, Star left shoulder, lyrics to 'There's Nothing More Romantic Than Watching The World Die' right shoulder, '<3' right side, anti-anti symbol left stomach, cartoon face left knee, 3 Xs left knee, 'K' left ankle, '10001' left ankle, 3 Xs left ankle, stickman left ankle, rose right calf, 'edge' inside lip.
021. Work at: IFPI
022. Single or relationship: Relationship
FIRSTS:
023. First piercing: Upper ear
024. First best friend: Ian Horn
025. First award: No idea
026. First crush: Jessica... something, about year 5
027. First pet: Ginger cat, Tammy
030. First big birthday: Played a gig for my friends in the bar I worked on the 18th
CURRENTLY:
049. Eating: Nothing
050. Drinking: Nothing
052. I'm about to: Play left4Dead2
053. Listening: Circa Survive - Juturna
055. Waiting for: Recording with A City Within at the weekend
056. Looking forward to: Our first gig next week, and leaving work
057. Loving: Music, as always, and maybe the girl just a little
YOUR FUTURE
058. Kids: adopting, lets not crowd this world anymore, and saving a kid from a shit life would be so rewarded
059. Marriage: I don't know
060. Careers: Musician (I wish!) Snowboarding instructor, music label A&R
WHICH IS BETTER?:
068. Lips or eyes: Eyes
070. Shorter or taller? Shorter than me
072. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous
073. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both
074. Sensitive or loud: Loud
075. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship, but only recently!
076. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker
077. Skinny or muscular: Skinny
HAVE YOU EVER?:
078. Been in love: I don't know
079. Cheated on someone: Yes
080. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't need them
081. Ran away from home: No
082. Held a weapon for self defence: No
083. Killed somebody: No
084. Broken someone's heart: I've been told so, but it seems to be better now
085. Been arrested: No
087. Cried when someone died: My Mum
088. Kissed someone when not in a relationship: Yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself: Completely
090. Miracles: No, there is no chance in the world only unpredictability
091. Love at first sight: No
092. Heaven: No
093. Santa Claus: No
094. Sex on first date: Yes
095. Kissing on the first date: Yes
096. Tooth fairy: No
097. God: No
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
098. Is there one person you want to be with right now: Yes
099. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life: It's been a rough week or two, but I wouldn't change my life for the world
100. Are you a massive loser? Clearly...
02/07/2010
I tore my ear!
If you know me in person, then you'll know I have two stretchers in each ear. Recently I've been working towards 25/26mm up from 18 where I was for some time.
It's been an awkward stretch, I wish I'd only gone for 22mm now, but having bought some nice tunnels at 25mm I was detirmined to get there. After stretching my right ear to 24mm I had no plug to wear overnight, so I used a bottle cap. It was closer to 23mm but it fit in ok. I put the o-rings from the 22mm taper on and no problems or so I thought.
The front o-ring pushed against my second stretcher (8mm) pushing the flare of the silicone tunnel just inside the hole. From here, the tunnel imbedded, and cut into the fistula. This hurt, a lot. So I changed my big plug back down to 22mm silicone, thinking that the this should allow it all to heal.
After about 3 days the peircing was still swollen and sore, I couldn't see any other option to take them both out and allow the wound to heal, hopefully the holes wouldn't shrink too much.
That was yesterday, today I woke up and while the big hole doesn't look much smaller, the 8mm now looks to be closed to 2mm!
This is pretty annoying as stretching ears takes a lot of time and effort, the idea of doing it again is frustrating, not too mention painfull.
I didn't do anything wrong when I stretched, the ear was ready, but it unfortunate that I hadn't noticed the tunnel had been pushed into my ear.
If you're going to stretch, make sure you check them often so something like this doesn't happen to you!
It's been an awkward stretch, I wish I'd only gone for 22mm now, but having bought some nice tunnels at 25mm I was detirmined to get there. After stretching my right ear to 24mm I had no plug to wear overnight, so I used a bottle cap. It was closer to 23mm but it fit in ok. I put the o-rings from the 22mm taper on and no problems or so I thought.
The front o-ring pushed against my second stretcher (8mm) pushing the flare of the silicone tunnel just inside the hole. From here, the tunnel imbedded, and cut into the fistula. This hurt, a lot. So I changed my big plug back down to 22mm silicone, thinking that the this should allow it all to heal.
After about 3 days the peircing was still swollen and sore, I couldn't see any other option to take them both out and allow the wound to heal, hopefully the holes wouldn't shrink too much.
That was yesterday, today I woke up and while the big hole doesn't look much smaller, the 8mm now looks to be closed to 2mm!
This is pretty annoying as stretching ears takes a lot of time and effort, the idea of doing it again is frustrating, not too mention painfull.
I didn't do anything wrong when I stretched, the ear was ready, but it unfortunate that I hadn't noticed the tunnel had been pushed into my ear.
If you're going to stretch, make sure you check them often so something like this doesn't happen to you!
Update
So, it's been a little while since I used blogger. I haven't really had much to say recently... well I have, I've had plenty, but I've kept my mouth firmly shut to stop it causing problems. Believe me, there's plenty I'd like to rant about!
So, I wanted to tell you all about the new band. A City Within, we had our first practice on the 26th Jan, and we're preparing to head to the studio to record on the 9th July. We're aiming to get 3 or 4 songs done, and we've got a week give or take. With everyone working it's going to be a bit random, but fingers crossed we'll get it all down.
We've also got our first show on the 15th. Typically this is right in the middle of our recording time, but that's how it goes I guess! We're playing the Underworld, quite a daunting prospect, as it's the same stage as will have hosted Circa Survive the night before, and loads of others of my favourite bands, Protest The Hero, Bane, Dance Gavin Dance, Confide, and so many more. We'll be playing with punk bands Useless ID and The Blessed And The Cursed, so we don't quite fit in as well as we could but it should be a sweet show! Part of me wants it packed out, and the other part wants it quiet so no-one can hear our mistakes!
So much to organise! And so much spamming to do!
Please, like my band on facebook, add us on myspace, follow us on tumblr and twitter. We're going to be giving the demo away once it's done, so you'll get to hear us soon!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/A-City-Within/132428613448857
http://flavors.me/acitywithin
http://www.myspace.com/acitywithin
http://acitywithin.bandcamp.com
http://soundcloud.com/a-city-within
http://acitywithin.tumblr.com/
http://twitter.com/acitywithin
http://acitywithin@googlemail.com
So, I wanted to tell you all about the new band. A City Within, we had our first practice on the 26th Jan, and we're preparing to head to the studio to record on the 9th July. We're aiming to get 3 or 4 songs done, and we've got a week give or take. With everyone working it's going to be a bit random, but fingers crossed we'll get it all down.
We've also got our first show on the 15th. Typically this is right in the middle of our recording time, but that's how it goes I guess! We're playing the Underworld, quite a daunting prospect, as it's the same stage as will have hosted Circa Survive the night before, and loads of others of my favourite bands, Protest The Hero, Bane, Dance Gavin Dance, Confide, and so many more. We'll be playing with punk bands Useless ID and The Blessed And The Cursed, so we don't quite fit in as well as we could but it should be a sweet show! Part of me wants it packed out, and the other part wants it quiet so no-one can hear our mistakes!
So much to organise! And so much spamming to do!
Please, like my band on facebook, add us on myspace, follow us on tumblr and twitter. We're going to be giving the demo away once it's done, so you'll get to hear us soon!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/A-City-Within/132428613448857
http://flavors.me/acitywithin
http://www.myspace.com/acitywithin
http://acitywithin.bandcamp.com
http://soundcloud.com/a-city-within
http://acitywithin.tumblr.com/
http://twitter.com/acitywithin
http://acitywithin@googlemail.com
21/06/2010
album covers
There's a pretty simple rule I follow:
If the artist(s) is on the cover don't listen to the album.
However there are some exceptions;
If the artist(s) is on the cover don't listen to the album.
However there are some exceptions;
03/06/2010
30/05/2010
Bye Facebook...
So today I left facebook, it feels kinda good.
It came after two boys who couldn't get their noses off their iphones for more than 10 mins at a time. The site has become a drag, so I'm going back to the old school, y'know, like phoning people n shit!
I spend far too much time sitting in front of my computer, so before I waste my summer away, I'm taking a step away.
There's plenty of other ways to get hold of me, my number, msn and email address is all still on my page, so if you wanna chat, just hit me up.
I'm hoping that this move will help me be a little more creative with my time, perhaps spend more time playing bass, writing songs, or even actually writing letters. I want to bring back the letter writing thing, so I promise this:
Anyone who sends me a postal address will have a letter to them!
I will want a reply though :P
I still love you all, I just don't care what you had for diner ;)
It came after two boys who couldn't get their noses off their iphones for more than 10 mins at a time. The site has become a drag, so I'm going back to the old school, y'know, like phoning people n shit!
I spend far too much time sitting in front of my computer, so before I waste my summer away, I'm taking a step away.
There's plenty of other ways to get hold of me, my number, msn and email address is all still on my page, so if you wanna chat, just hit me up.
I'm hoping that this move will help me be a little more creative with my time, perhaps spend more time playing bass, writing songs, or even actually writing letters. I want to bring back the letter writing thing, so I promise this:
Anyone who sends me a postal address will have a letter to them!
I will want a reply though :P
I still love you all, I just don't care what you had for diner ;)
04/05/2010
what's your ideal girl?
I think I had this before, can't remember what I said though. Truthfully I can't define it, I want someone that makes me never want to be with anyone else ever again. I want someone I fall asleep thinking about, and is the first thing I think of in the morning. I don't know what she'd look like, or what she's into, but whatever it was, that would be my ideal girl.
However, if I were to try and build such a girl, I have a vague idea.
*core
So I'm back onto the music topic again. And again, it's the retardation of genres.
I read today about emocore. It's a phrase I've heard before, but this time it kind of got to me. It was an argument on last.fm about whether a band was, post-hardcore, screamo, emocore or one of many other genres that all seem to describe a very similar group of artists. I get that screamo is music with screaming in, but also has an emo-y-ness to them, and that emocore is emo but with more hardcore influence, and post-hardcore is... ahhhh what the hell!
Does it really matter? I've heard good and bad bands of every genre, so surely picking out these little bits really is pointless yeah? I'm all for using genres to describe music, it's very obvious thing to do - if two bands sound similar you need to be able to describe that style. But the over complication is just stupid. A band is not defined by it's genre, and it is more than possible for a band to play any number of styles throughout the course of it's history (like brand new) or an album (like Queen) or even through a song (Tub Ring anyone?) So, lets just chill out a bit, and stop worrying about it.
If I call them metalcore or hardcore and you call them postscene-emocore then I'll probably think you're an idiot, but at least I'll know what a band sounds like! Pretty similar to a lot of what I like, which has some screaming some singing, some guitars and some drums. When it comes down to it, there's only two labels that really matter - Awesome and Not
I read today about emocore. It's a phrase I've heard before, but this time it kind of got to me. It was an argument on last.fm about whether a band was, post-hardcore, screamo, emocore or one of many other genres that all seem to describe a very similar group of artists. I get that screamo is music with screaming in, but also has an emo-y-ness to them, and that emocore is emo but with more hardcore influence, and post-hardcore is... ahhhh what the hell!
Does it really matter? I've heard good and bad bands of every genre, so surely picking out these little bits really is pointless yeah? I'm all for using genres to describe music, it's very obvious thing to do - if two bands sound similar you need to be able to describe that style. But the over complication is just stupid. A band is not defined by it's genre, and it is more than possible for a band to play any number of styles throughout the course of it's history (like brand new) or an album (like Queen) or even through a song (Tub Ring anyone?) So, lets just chill out a bit, and stop worrying about it.
If I call them metalcore or hardcore and you call them postscene-emocore then I'll probably think you're an idiot, but at least I'll know what a band sounds like! Pretty similar to a lot of what I like, which has some screaming some singing, some guitars and some drums. When it comes down to it, there's only two labels that really matter - Awesome and Not
23/04/2010
Piercings!
I like them, but I think I've exhausted my face now!
Snakebites, tongue, 20mm & 8mm stretchers in each ear, right nostril twice, left once, cheek, top of left ear...
Is it time to stop now?
If anyone can think of something that wouldn't clutter my face up, I might just get it...
Snakebites, tongue, 20mm & 8mm stretchers in each ear, right nostril twice, left once, cheek, top of left ear...
Is it time to stop now?
If anyone can think of something that wouldn't clutter my face up, I might just get it...
14/04/2010
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Which is why I've stopped posting on most forums... People just don't seem to be able to do anything cool these days. Maybe it's just that people on forums are mostly massive losers!
Anyway, what kicked me over the edge was someone thought recording an instrumental cover of a blink-182 song and putting on youTube was a good thing. I'm all for people learning songs, and recording them if they want - it's all good practice. They can even play the songs to some people to see what they think. But when the description is a big apology for not being very good and badly recorded then you've got to wonder why they posted the damn thing in the first place! If you think it's crap, why would anyone else like it?
it's the same reason I don't follow people (on tumblr or twitter) that post too much, or post lame-ass shit about their personal lives, I even filter my facebook friends so I can cut out all those 'friends' I haven't spoken to since primary school. It's not that I don't like them, but their lives are irrelevant and uninteresting to me, just as I expect mine is too them. It's nice to know they're there if I ever need to get in touch, but I don't need to know what they had for diner.
Remember that there is a home for everything, especially on the net, as far as I'm concerned my tumblr is fairly impersonal, it's for random shit I think is cool or interesting. My blog (which is imported to facebook) is for wordy stuff and my thoughts - like this. Twitter is personal, but non-specific and is pretty much just what I'm doing or planning, and Facebook is for me to contact my friends. I'm a lazy texter, so I'm all about facebook!
Went a bit off-topic there... If you're filling up the internet with stuff that isn't awesome, then you're just adding to the endless sea of shit that is the majority of user created content. Speaking of shit user created content - people who make youtube videos about youtube videos, please just fuck off! Your stupid effects and bad jokes are just annoying, if I want to see a funny video I know where to look, if I want to watch someone pull out all the humour from a funny video, I'll watch your lame show. It's not hard to make a youtube video, but that doesn't mean that you should!
If only the 'net had a shittness filter.
Anyway, what kicked me over the edge was someone thought recording an instrumental cover of a blink-182 song and putting on youTube was a good thing. I'm all for people learning songs, and recording them if they want - it's all good practice. They can even play the songs to some people to see what they think. But when the description is a big apology for not being very good and badly recorded then you've got to wonder why they posted the damn thing in the first place! If you think it's crap, why would anyone else like it?
it's the same reason I don't follow people (on tumblr or twitter) that post too much, or post lame-ass shit about their personal lives, I even filter my facebook friends so I can cut out all those 'friends' I haven't spoken to since primary school. It's not that I don't like them, but their lives are irrelevant and uninteresting to me, just as I expect mine is too them. It's nice to know they're there if I ever need to get in touch, but I don't need to know what they had for diner.
Remember that there is a home for everything, especially on the net, as far as I'm concerned my tumblr is fairly impersonal, it's for random shit I think is cool or interesting. My blog (which is imported to facebook) is for wordy stuff and my thoughts - like this. Twitter is personal, but non-specific and is pretty much just what I'm doing or planning, and Facebook is for me to contact my friends. I'm a lazy texter, so I'm all about facebook!
Went a bit off-topic there... If you're filling up the internet with stuff that isn't awesome, then you're just adding to the endless sea of shit that is the majority of user created content. Speaking of shit user created content - people who make youtube videos about youtube videos, please just fuck off! Your stupid effects and bad jokes are just annoying, if I want to see a funny video I know where to look, if I want to watch someone pull out all the humour from a funny video, I'll watch your lame show. It's not hard to make a youtube video, but that doesn't mean that you should!
If only the 'net had a shittness filter.
08/04/2010
The Comfort Zone
The comfort zone is lovely place, it's all squishy and soft, warm and cosy, and when you leave it it can be very hard to be yourself. It happens quite often, but not as much as it should. It's something that you need to do every now and again, to check that you're pushing yourself hard enough, to look at yourself from the outside, and as a test to how you can cope no matter where you are.
Almost anything can push you out of your comfort zone, whether it's being left alone in a strange place, or not being in the right mood, not having the atmosphere, even having a cold. When you're at work or at home it's unlikely that you'll leave the zone, but when you're out with friends it can take just one thing to kick you out of it. Once that happens it can be quite a daunting place, and hard to get back again.
Perhaps the trick is not just to be able to survive outside the zone, but also to be able to extend the zone to where you are. To be able to go somewhere you don't fit in, or where you don't know anyone and just make yourself as at home as you would be anywhere else.
This may prove hard if people are less friendly, but once you get into a good conversation location is really quite irrelevent, your frame becomes more focused.
Re-framing is an excellent process, conducted in the mind and really is just looking at things from the bright side. If you don't get the job after an interview, instead of focusing on the negative sides, you can learn from the positives. You learnt that you need to work on your interview technique, or that a certain technique didn't work in that scenario. Every situation is framed by each person, and understanding another persons view can allow you to empathise, or find a way to make them see it your way.
It can also help get you back into your comfort zone - but then, so can alcohol. Up to you I guess...
Almost anything can push you out of your comfort zone, whether it's being left alone in a strange place, or not being in the right mood, not having the atmosphere, even having a cold. When you're at work or at home it's unlikely that you'll leave the zone, but when you're out with friends it can take just one thing to kick you out of it. Once that happens it can be quite a daunting place, and hard to get back again.
Perhaps the trick is not just to be able to survive outside the zone, but also to be able to extend the zone to where you are. To be able to go somewhere you don't fit in, or where you don't know anyone and just make yourself as at home as you would be anywhere else.
This may prove hard if people are less friendly, but once you get into a good conversation location is really quite irrelevent, your frame becomes more focused.
Re-framing is an excellent process, conducted in the mind and really is just looking at things from the bright side. If you don't get the job after an interview, instead of focusing on the negative sides, you can learn from the positives. You learnt that you need to work on your interview technique, or that a certain technique didn't work in that scenario. Every situation is framed by each person, and understanding another persons view can allow you to empathise, or find a way to make them see it your way.
It can also help get you back into your comfort zone - but then, so can alcohol. Up to you I guess...
07/04/2010
It's been a while
So here's a nice update for you :)
Work is still going, I go in every day and have a little of my fun drained out of me. I should be gratful, it pays well enough and the guys are all pretty cool really. I even have time to write a blog every now and again! Still, it's made me even more sure that office work is not what I want to be going into at all, I want to be be doing things, not just typing away or crunching numbers.
I completed the sex ban, all is well and good, it didn't fall off or anything like that, which is good news. It hasn't changed me, or my thoughts on sex or relationships, which I kinda thought it would. I'm still just me, and well, that's fine by me! I still haven't quite reached my £500 target, just £40 short, so if you're yet to donate, please do it soon so I can give up nagging you all! www.justgiving.com/40days
I have more of idea what's going on in my life as well, I know I'll be moving back to birmingham in July, and probably splitting my time between there and London until I head back to Uni in October. I think the summer will be good fun, but I need to find somewhere to work so I can earn some of the money that I've spent back again. If anyone knows somewhere that could use someone over summer that'd be sweet. Although I'm off to do all sorts of festivals and shit (Slamdunk and Reading booked already!) so maybe I'd be useless!
Finally, the music thing is looking up again! After ATWE fell apart because I had to go to London (without recording the awesome new tunes unfortunately) I was in a limbo for quite a while. Trying out here and there, but nothing since the summer tour with I Have Clones. However me and Rob started talking music again, as he's now settled into his new place in London, and we formed a band via the magic that is gumtree. I was very surprised with the talent we've got, and we've pieced together 3 songs already, we're hoping to have a full set written by the end of April and then get gigging in June. Not settled on a name yet, but that be sorted soon, then we'll get to work on the old online presence.
Life has been good to me the last couple years and it doesn't seem to be stopping :D
Don't forget to donate if you haven't yet! www.justgiving.com/40days
Work is still going, I go in every day and have a little of my fun drained out of me. I should be gratful, it pays well enough and the guys are all pretty cool really. I even have time to write a blog every now and again! Still, it's made me even more sure that office work is not what I want to be going into at all, I want to be be doing things, not just typing away or crunching numbers.
I completed the sex ban, all is well and good, it didn't fall off or anything like that, which is good news. It hasn't changed me, or my thoughts on sex or relationships, which I kinda thought it would. I'm still just me, and well, that's fine by me! I still haven't quite reached my £500 target, just £40 short, so if you're yet to donate, please do it soon so I can give up nagging you all! www.justgiving.com/40days
I have more of idea what's going on in my life as well, I know I'll be moving back to birmingham in July, and probably splitting my time between there and London until I head back to Uni in October. I think the summer will be good fun, but I need to find somewhere to work so I can earn some of the money that I've spent back again. If anyone knows somewhere that could use someone over summer that'd be sweet. Although I'm off to do all sorts of festivals and shit (Slamdunk and Reading booked already!) so maybe I'd be useless!
Finally, the music thing is looking up again! After ATWE fell apart because I had to go to London (without recording the awesome new tunes unfortunately) I was in a limbo for quite a while. Trying out here and there, but nothing since the summer tour with I Have Clones. However me and Rob started talking music again, as he's now settled into his new place in London, and we formed a band via the magic that is gumtree. I was very surprised with the talent we've got, and we've pieced together 3 songs already, we're hoping to have a full set written by the end of April and then get gigging in June. Not settled on a name yet, but that be sorted soon, then we'll get to work on the old online presence.
Life has been good to me the last couple years and it doesn't seem to be stopping :D
Don't forget to donate if you haven't yet! www.justgiving.com/40days
12/03/2010
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
I can have a wank soon!!!! Yes! So happy about that you have no idea!
but, other than the massive joy of being free of these damn restrictions I don't feel all that great, I have raised a fair bit for charity, and I'm hoping to raise more. But I certainly haven't gone through any big life changing moments, really I've just been me, but with extra mood swings. So to any guy thinking of doing similar, don't bother! Seriously, it's just like life, but without wanking or sex, and those are two of favourite things!
Fuck, I like SEX!
Anyway, I did it, I put myself through all this shit to raise some money, so you bastards had better donate!
Much love to everyone who has, and all those that have been cool in other ways. Even all you cute girls that have taunted me so!
but, other than the massive joy of being free of these damn restrictions I don't feel all that great, I have raised a fair bit for charity, and I'm hoping to raise more. But I certainly haven't gone through any big life changing moments, really I've just been me, but with extra mood swings. So to any guy thinking of doing similar, don't bother! Seriously, it's just like life, but without wanking or sex, and those are two of favourite things!
Fuck, I like SEX!
Anyway, I did it, I put myself through all this shit to raise some money, so you bastards had better donate!
Much love to everyone who has, and all those that have been cool in other ways. Even all you cute girls that have taunted me so!
10/03/2010
2 and a bit days to go!
right now I've got about 54 hours and 41 minutes to go :D
Nearly done. I'm actually starting to think this was kinda worth it! I've raised quite a bit of money and I should be able to raise as much again (so long as all you buggers that promised actually do donate!) I've proven to myself that I have self-control, I'm not a sex addict, and it's even started to put my priorities. I always used to say 'Bros before Hoes' (sorry to be so crude) but now I know it. Well, more like friends before a fuck, but the meaning is pretty much the same.
My friends are some of the greatest, so I'd rather not fuck them over, especially for just a shag. I might fuck 'em over for a 3way with japanese twins though - sorry guys!
However, I haven't felt that life changing epiphany I was kinda hoping for. I haven't been struck with the idea that a wife and kids is what I want. I'm still going to be the same old me, but I do intend to be a nicer person, so if I say something nice, just take the compliment, it doesn't always mean I'm hitting on you!
We'll see where things go after my holidays, I hope my life continues to be as awesome as it has been the last year or so :D
If you still haven't donated - please do! www.justgiving.com/40days
LOVE
Nearly done. I'm actually starting to think this was kinda worth it! I've raised quite a bit of money and I should be able to raise as much again (so long as all you buggers that promised actually do donate!) I've proven to myself that I have self-control, I'm not a sex addict, and it's even started to put my priorities. I always used to say 'Bros before Hoes' (sorry to be so crude) but now I know it. Well, more like friends before a fuck, but the meaning is pretty much the same.
My friends are some of the greatest, so I'd rather not fuck them over, especially for just a shag. I might fuck 'em over for a 3way with japanese twins though - sorry guys!
However, I haven't felt that life changing epiphany I was kinda hoping for. I haven't been struck with the idea that a wife and kids is what I want. I'm still going to be the same old me, but I do intend to be a nicer person, so if I say something nice, just take the compliment, it doesn't always mean I'm hitting on you!
We'll see where things go after my holidays, I hope my life continues to be as awesome as it has been the last year or so :D
If you still haven't donated - please do! www.justgiving.com/40days
LOVE
08/03/2010
5 days :D
Only 5 days to go people! I haven't slipped up yet, and I'm not going to now!
So if you've been waiting to donate, this is the time to do it!
All of you that promised, whether in person, or on facebook or wherever else, it's time to get your wallets out!
I'm £15 short of my half way point but I'm still hopefull I'll make the target. Remember, 40 days of misery at 50p a day is £20 ;) But please, if you can - give more! It's all for a good cause!
www.justgiving.com/40days
PS If I don't reach the target, then I'm going to keep nagging those that didn't donate until you do! So donate asap and maybe I'll shut the hell up!
So if you've been waiting to donate, this is the time to do it!
All of you that promised, whether in person, or on facebook or wherever else, it's time to get your wallets out!
I'm £15 short of my half way point but I'm still hopefull I'll make the target. Remember, 40 days of misery at 50p a day is £20 ;) But please, if you can - give more! It's all for a good cause!
www.justgiving.com/40days
PS If I don't reach the target, then I'm going to keep nagging those that didn't donate until you do! So donate asap and maybe I'll shut the hell up!
04/03/2010
Terra Vs Ben
I was talking to a girl the other day and she said something that made me think. It was the idea that Terra is a different person to Ben...
Terra is my confident, outrageous, cocky personality, while Ben is quieter, nicer and more introverted. I realise that everyone changes depending on the situation, and I know I don't have split personality disorder or anything like that. I just like the concept that there's two people, who act differently and want different things. It certainly explains some of the contradictions that I come out with!
Ben wants a girlfriend, to settle down, to watch films and snuggle, someone to buy flowers for when picking up the milk on the way home, he wants structure and stability and comfort.
Terra wants to go out and play around, meet lots of girls and flirt his heart away, he wants a different girl every night of the week, but wants to sleep alone, he wants his own space. He wants adventure, the excitement of the unknown, and doesn't want to get tied down.
I imagine every guy feels a bit like this, and balancing the two is part of what makes you who you are. Obviously I'm a bit out of whack at the moment, what with being filled with sperm, but I know that the 'Terra' side of me has been winning for the last year or so. The idea of a girlfriend appeals so much to the 'Ben' side, yet I am torn between the two, and I'm taking girls with me. They meet Terra, the cocky wanker that he is, then get suckered by the sappy wanker of Ben.
I wish I only wanted one thing, but it's so damn hard! Maybe if I shoot myself through the cheek I'll be cured!
Terra is my confident, outrageous, cocky personality, while Ben is quieter, nicer and more introverted. I realise that everyone changes depending on the situation, and I know I don't have split personality disorder or anything like that. I just like the concept that there's two people, who act differently and want different things. It certainly explains some of the contradictions that I come out with!
Ben wants a girlfriend, to settle down, to watch films and snuggle, someone to buy flowers for when picking up the milk on the way home, he wants structure and stability and comfort.
Terra wants to go out and play around, meet lots of girls and flirt his heart away, he wants a different girl every night of the week, but wants to sleep alone, he wants his own space. He wants adventure, the excitement of the unknown, and doesn't want to get tied down.
I imagine every guy feels a bit like this, and balancing the two is part of what makes you who you are. Obviously I'm a bit out of whack at the moment, what with being filled with sperm, but I know that the 'Terra' side of me has been winning for the last year or so. The idea of a girlfriend appeals so much to the 'Ben' side, yet I am torn between the two, and I'm taking girls with me. They meet Terra, the cocky wanker that he is, then get suckered by the sappy wanker of Ben.
I wish I only wanted one thing, but it's so damn hard! Maybe if I shoot myself through the cheek I'll be cured!
03/03/2010
The home stretch!
Less than 10 days to go now, it really feels like I'm nearly done. I've got just 7 days left of work, which makes me happy, considering how annoying it's got lately.
Anyway, I'm nearly done - I'm not gunna slip up now - so if you're waiting till I'm finished, may as well donate now - I'm not gunna slip up now, I'm too close to the end!
www.justgiving.com/40days
PS - boys, if any of you think you could do this - DON'T DO IT! It's just horrible! Don't even joke about it, and definitely don't commit, it's stupid and crazy and shit!
Anyway, I'm nearly done - I'm not gunna slip up now - so if you're waiting till I'm finished, may as well donate now - I'm not gunna slip up now, I'm too close to the end!
www.justgiving.com/40days
PS - boys, if any of you think you could do this - DON'T DO IT! It's just horrible! Don't even joke about it, and definitely don't commit, it's stupid and crazy and shit!
01/03/2010
This is getting hard!
Ok, I've done all of feburary - that's good, I've got about 10 and a half days left to go, but dispite the finishing line being finally in sight, It's getting really hard.
For all of you that wanted me to suffer, you can feel happy in yourselves, because I really am! I feel down a lot of the time, I'm finding it hard to concentrate on things, I am constantly getting aroused, and most disgustingly, getting messy :\ It's horrible and embarrassing, and something which I wasn't expecting to be so bad. My balls and now really sensitive, and my dick hurts after I've had a piss.
THIS IS NOT RIGHT!
I can't wait for this to be over, after going through so much I'm not gunna give up now. I can't and I won't.
This is day 29 of my torture - please donate, seeing that total rise is the only thing keeping me sane!
www.justgiving.com/40days
For all of you that wanted me to suffer, you can feel happy in yourselves, because I really am! I feel down a lot of the time, I'm finding it hard to concentrate on things, I am constantly getting aroused, and most disgustingly, getting messy :\ It's horrible and embarrassing, and something which I wasn't expecting to be so bad. My balls and now really sensitive, and my dick hurts after I've had a piss.
THIS IS NOT RIGHT!
I can't wait for this to be over, after going through so much I'm not gunna give up now. I can't and I won't.
This is day 29 of my torture - please donate, seeing that total rise is the only thing keeping me sane!
www.justgiving.com/40days
24/02/2010
A Sexless Update
It's day 24, over halfway, but not over the hard part. This challenge is getting harder and harder every day. I'm meeting more and more people and wanting more and more to busy with them. The idea of having a wank is something that almost makes me nervous with anticipation, I really want to, but now I've lasted this long it seems like such a waste.
I'm a little dissapointed by the amount that's been donated, I was hoping to get a bit more by now, but I do know a lot of people that have promised to donate some. Hopefully if all of them keep their word I'll break that £500 mark.
Some of you have asked why I choose Cancer Research to raise money for, it's great charity, that is making decent developments, and could stop the suffering of hundreds of thousands of people. But more than that, some of you already know, but I lost my Mum to cancer. This project is now too close to me to turn my back on, so no matter how sexy the girl, failing to me, would be like failing my Mum. Something I simply won't do. Some of you will understand what it's like to lose a parent, and this is my way of making her proud - so please help me do so.
This really means a lot to me, so every bit of support, and every donation, no matter how small really does help.
Thanks again to everyone who has donated, and to everyone who has shown their support in other ways.
Love to you all :) (but not physically obviously!)
www.justgiving.com/40days
I'm a little dissapointed by the amount that's been donated, I was hoping to get a bit more by now, but I do know a lot of people that have promised to donate some. Hopefully if all of them keep their word I'll break that £500 mark.
Some of you have asked why I choose Cancer Research to raise money for, it's great charity, that is making decent developments, and could stop the suffering of hundreds of thousands of people. But more than that, some of you already know, but I lost my Mum to cancer. This project is now too close to me to turn my back on, so no matter how sexy the girl, failing to me, would be like failing my Mum. Something I simply won't do. Some of you will understand what it's like to lose a parent, and this is my way of making her proud - so please help me do so.
This really means a lot to me, so every bit of support, and every donation, no matter how small really does help.
Thanks again to everyone who has donated, and to everyone who has shown their support in other ways.
Love to you all :) (but not physically obviously!)
www.justgiving.com/40days
23/02/2010
Forum
I'm looking for a good forum to wander about on. Nothing too specific, but generally interesting topics, music/films/games random shit...
I thought I had but it's getting worse everyday mostly thanks to the annoying unemployed northern prick that has to shove his face and shit jokes into every thread. Oh, and the rest of the people seem to be sad boys hoping desperately for some DIY boob pics they can pretend is the girl they met last week, and girls looking for approval on the internet.
At least the girls are hot.
Well, if anyone can suggest something to me, or possible join me in some hobo flaming I'd much appreciate.
I thought I had but it's getting worse everyday mostly thanks to the annoying unemployed northern prick that has to shove his face and shit jokes into every thread. Oh, and the rest of the people seem to be sad boys hoping desperately for some DIY boob pics they can pretend is the girl they met last week, and girls looking for approval on the internet.
At least the girls are hot.
Well, if anyone can suggest something to me, or possible join me in some hobo flaming I'd much appreciate.
22/02/2010
Tattoo
I've come over with a very strong urge to get more tattoo.
I need to get my belly piece finished, and I want to get some more stuff done to my chest, building it into a complete chest piece. I'm also hoping to get my left arm filled up with some more geeky shit, and my right arm done with a complete sleeve based around the Wildermere comics, but I wanna get that done by the original artist. I'm saving my left calf for my Dad, and I want more writing on the lower left side of my back... but I still have lots of bits here and there, so here's my proposal.
If you're an artist, and you'd like to see your work tattoo'd on someone, then send me some pictures, and if I like them, I'll get them done. Simple as that - you draw on me!
KEEP DONATING YOU MOFOS! www.justgiving.com/40days
I need to get my belly piece finished, and I want to get some more stuff done to my chest, building it into a complete chest piece. I'm also hoping to get my left arm filled up with some more geeky shit, and my right arm done with a complete sleeve based around the Wildermere comics, but I wanna get that done by the original artist. I'm saving my left calf for my Dad, and I want more writing on the lower left side of my back... but I still have lots of bits here and there, so here's my proposal.
If you're an artist, and you'd like to see your work tattoo'd on someone, then send me some pictures, and if I like them, I'll get them done. Simple as that - you draw on me!
KEEP DONATING YOU MOFOS! www.justgiving.com/40days
21/02/2010
HALF WAY!
Yeaaaaah Boi!
So, I've reached the halfway point and I'm still going strong. I don't feel too affected by it personally, other than the constant urge to have a wank that is, and and wanting to have sex with pretty much every girl I see. Still, I'd like to think my standards are still pretty reasonable, it's the cute ones that are really screwing with my head.
I seem to be meeting more cool girls recently, which is a little annoying! Oh well, I'm gunna be on fire once this is over!
Anyway - Please please please donate some money, I'm halfway through and I've not got half the money yet, so if you were waiting to donate, now is a good time! It doesn't matter how much, anything from 20p to £200 is welcome, it's just great to know you support me.
And thanks to all the people that I've spoken to, it really does mean a lot to hear encouragement.
Peace and love (of the non-physical kind)
So, I've reached the halfway point and I'm still going strong. I don't feel too affected by it personally, other than the constant urge to have a wank that is, and and wanting to have sex with pretty much every girl I see. Still, I'd like to think my standards are still pretty reasonable, it's the cute ones that are really screwing with my head.
I seem to be meeting more cool girls recently, which is a little annoying! Oh well, I'm gunna be on fire once this is over!
Anyway - Please please please donate some money, I'm halfway through and I've not got half the money yet, so if you were waiting to donate, now is a good time! It doesn't matter how much, anything from 20p to £200 is welcome, it's just great to know you support me.
And thanks to all the people that I've spoken to, it really does mean a lot to hear encouragement.
Peace and love (of the non-physical kind)
19/02/2010
working it all out.
so, with all this stuff going on everywhere, so many places to put content it's all gettig a bit confusing. It's a good thing I don't do video blogs and take photos as well or I'd be really screwed!
Facebook - this is for communicating with friends and flirting with girls - Personal, Informal, Intimate, Interactive
Tumblr - this is for showing off cool shit - Informal, Impersonal, Global,
Blogspot - this is for writing - Formal, Personal, Intimate, Mono
Twitter - I still have no idea what this is actually good for - Informal, Global, Useless
So, from now on - anything more than a quote or status update will go here. Cool pictures, quotes, videos and links go on tumblr. Personal status's about how I am, and what I'm up to will go on my Facebook. Announcements and adverts will be twittered.
and of course, everything has a link to everything else, and most content is posted to the other places, but now in the smallest possible way.
Facebook - this is for communicating with friends and flirting with girls - Personal, Informal, Intimate, Interactive
Tumblr - this is for showing off cool shit - Informal, Impersonal, Global,
Blogspot - this is for writing - Formal, Personal, Intimate, Mono
Twitter - I still have no idea what this is actually good for - Informal, Global, Useless
So, from now on - anything more than a quote or status update will go here. Cool pictures, quotes, videos and links go on tumblr. Personal status's about how I am, and what I'm up to will go on my Facebook. Announcements and adverts will be twittered.
and of course, everything has a link to everything else, and most content is posted to the other places, but now in the smallest possible way.
There's this girl right...
From back home, I didn’t know her all that way, but she’s very talented and very very good looking. And well… I got close a few times, but nothing ever came of it. Everytime I see her pictures appear I get a pang of regret that I didn’t try that little bit harder.
The last thing I want is to be a dodgy interenet guy, I’m sure there’s plenty of those who know her only through her pictures. I just wanted to put this out there. Maybe it’s the lack of sex, maybe she’s the one. Either way, I would give too much just for one night with her.
The last thing I want is to be a dodgy interenet guy, I’m sure there’s plenty of those who know her only through her pictures. I just wanted to put this out there. Maybe it’s the lack of sex, maybe she’s the one. Either way, I would give too much just for one night with her.
18/02/2010
I haven't forgotten you blogger!
But tumblr is a lot more casual, and therefore better for the everyday stuff. This is for SRS bloggin ONRI
Anyway, back to the original purpose - today I think you need to listen to
Emarosa
Dance Gavin Dance
Burden Of A Day
Lower Than Atlantis
Blackhole
Blakfish (RIP)
Anyway, back to the original purpose - today I think you need to listen to
Emarosa
Dance Gavin Dance
Burden Of A Day
Lower Than Atlantis
Blackhole
Blakfish (RIP)
12/02/2010
why valentines day sucks
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it for any particular reason, I just think it's generally a bad idea here's some reasons why
1) it's an expensive waste of time - you spend money on shit you don't need - cards end up in the bin, flowers wilt. (flowers are just as nice any other day, and less expensive!)
2) It's never balanced - one party will always spend/do more than the other, which can lead to several problems. The one who spent more feels unappreciated unloved or bitter, the one who is spoilt feels smothered, maybe scared of the level of commitment shown
3) It upsets other people, it's a massive festival that says 'sucks to be you' to everyone without a partner, which just ain't cool
4) It puts additional pressure on a new relationship. Guaging what to do for a new partner is always hard, you don't want to do too much, nor too little.
Yeah, that's why it sucks - I personally don't like to do too much, and if a girl went all out then I'd be very scared.
Here's what I suggest instead - Agree to spend nothing on each other, but instead show how much you love each other with personal gifts. Write them a letter, draw them a picture, make a collage of photos, write a song, fix that light in the bathroom they've been nagging about, do all the chores, something that shows you really care, not some shitty off the shelf romantic statement or a bunch of cliches.
Most importantly, remember - if you love someone, you will show them that everyday, not just valentines.
1) it's an expensive waste of time - you spend money on shit you don't need - cards end up in the bin, flowers wilt. (flowers are just as nice any other day, and less expensive!)
2) It's never balanced - one party will always spend/do more than the other, which can lead to several problems. The one who spent more feels unappreciated unloved or bitter, the one who is spoilt feels smothered, maybe scared of the level of commitment shown
3) It upsets other people, it's a massive festival that says 'sucks to be you' to everyone without a partner, which just ain't cool
4) It puts additional pressure on a new relationship. Guaging what to do for a new partner is always hard, you don't want to do too much, nor too little.
Yeah, that's why it sucks - I personally don't like to do too much, and if a girl went all out then I'd be very scared.
Here's what I suggest instead - Agree to spend nothing on each other, but instead show how much you love each other with personal gifts. Write them a letter, draw them a picture, make a collage of photos, write a song, fix that light in the bathroom they've been nagging about, do all the chores, something that shows you really care, not some shitty off the shelf romantic statement or a bunch of cliches.
Most importantly, remember - if you love someone, you will show them that everyday, not just valentines.
10/02/2010
day 10
Well, in 7 more hours I will have completed one whole quarter of my challenge.
I won't lie, I wish I hadn't done this now, but I said I would and I'm going to get it done. I used to think about sex a lot, but before it was a nice thought, now all it does is remind me of what I can't do. I keep ending up talking about sex, which doesn't make things any better, and sitting on the front website. I even checked out a new porn site the other night - it looked good but I've got 30 more days before I can appreciate it!
While I might well want my sex, I'm getting lots of time to play games and watch films, catching up on old werewolf movies and Ghost in the Shell atm - Recomendations welcome for more ways to keep my hands busy!
Oh yeah - I've also started doing more exercise - maybe I'll grow a muscle!
I won't lie, I wish I hadn't done this now, but I said I would and I'm going to get it done. I used to think about sex a lot, but before it was a nice thought, now all it does is remind me of what I can't do. I keep ending up talking about sex, which doesn't make things any better, and sitting on the front website. I even checked out a new porn site the other night - it looked good but I've got 30 more days before I can appreciate it!
While I might well want my sex, I'm getting lots of time to play games and watch films, catching up on old werewolf movies and Ghost in the Shell atm - Recomendations welcome for more ways to keep my hands busy!
Oh yeah - I've also started doing more exercise - maybe I'll grow a muscle!
09/02/2010
Girls who model...
I think this is gunna cause some controvesy - I don't mean it too, and I don't mean any offence - so please don't take any.
I have nothing against models, or modelling of any sort. Putting hot girls in clothes sure works, putting hot girls playing games works, putting hot girls near anything will help it sell. Putting hot girls anywhere will make people want to look at it!
But, I know a lot of girls who want to be models (some are doing pretty damn well, some are doing good, some who look gorgeous, some who look good)and it seems to me there's rather an overwhelming amount of them at the moment - meaning competition is harder so:
1) It's not that you're not pretty, it's that she's prettier.
Unless you're really arrogant you know there are going to be people who are better looking than you, and these people may well get the job. So don't get upset because you're too XXX for the job.
Also, remember who you are. Not everyone is the same style - I'm sure most of the girls I know want to model for Drop Dead or Babycakes or Johnny Cupcakes, but there's not a lot of spaces within those jobs. So, if you've got tattoos and piercings you're narrowing your own market so:
2) being alternative makes you stand out - not always a good thing
People need relate to the people selling them shit, so unless you're lucky enough to be selling alt gear, the alt look won't help much. Your style is something you can change, but one thing you can't is you. Plain and simple, if high and mighty is looking for models then someone like me (shortish and skinny) is just not gunna work! It may not be so obvious as that, but you could be stunning and not get it because your face is wrong so:
3) being you is enough for them to say no - it's not personal
Finally, the people that choose models probably look at thousands of people a week, going for a job seems a total lottery to me!
Still, if you're willing to get yourself an awesome portfolio of shots and go for every job that comes up you could well end up doing it and good on you.
I know I know fuck all about the modelling/fashion world, but that's my impression. I don't want you to think I'm some knob, I'm just putting my view out there, and all I see is girls upset by rejection letters (and a couple getting work!) and it makes me wonder.
I couldn't do it myself, I wouldn't like the rejection, and I'd hate to live in the hands of the casting people. I like to do things for myself, not be chosen!
well, it's possible that's all shite - I'm sure you'll tell me if it is :)
I have nothing against models, or modelling of any sort. Putting hot girls in clothes sure works, putting hot girls playing games works, putting hot girls near anything will help it sell. Putting hot girls anywhere will make people want to look at it!
But, I know a lot of girls who want to be models (some are doing pretty damn well, some are doing good, some who look gorgeous, some who look good)and it seems to me there's rather an overwhelming amount of them at the moment - meaning competition is harder so:
1) It's not that you're not pretty, it's that she's prettier.
Unless you're really arrogant you know there are going to be people who are better looking than you, and these people may well get the job. So don't get upset because you're too XXX for the job.
Also, remember who you are. Not everyone is the same style - I'm sure most of the girls I know want to model for Drop Dead or Babycakes or Johnny Cupcakes, but there's not a lot of spaces within those jobs. So, if you've got tattoos and piercings you're narrowing your own market so:
2) being alternative makes you stand out - not always a good thing
People need relate to the people selling them shit, so unless you're lucky enough to be selling alt gear, the alt look won't help much. Your style is something you can change, but one thing you can't is you. Plain and simple, if high and mighty is looking for models then someone like me (shortish and skinny) is just not gunna work! It may not be so obvious as that, but you could be stunning and not get it because your face is wrong so:
3) being you is enough for them to say no - it's not personal
Finally, the people that choose models probably look at thousands of people a week, going for a job seems a total lottery to me!
Still, if you're willing to get yourself an awesome portfolio of shots and go for every job that comes up you could well end up doing it and good on you.
I know I know fuck all about the modelling/fashion world, but that's my impression. I don't want you to think I'm some knob, I'm just putting my view out there, and all I see is girls upset by rejection letters (and a couple getting work!) and it makes me wonder.
I couldn't do it myself, I wouldn't like the rejection, and I'd hate to live in the hands of the casting people. I like to do things for myself, not be chosen!
well, it's possible that's all shite - I'm sure you'll tell me if it is :)
Make Time Faster!
I don't think I've ever been in a situatuion where I've wanted to make a month go by so much! There's fuck all going on this month, I'll just wake up in march please?
08/02/2010
Friends
Why do we have friends?
For an entirely selfish purpose really, friends help us feel better - whether it’s cheering you up when you’re sad, or just helping you to enjoy a good night out. Good friends will have a mutual relationship, both being able to rely on each for support, and for good times.
Sometimes it can be hard to be a good friend, if someone is going through a bad period, it may seem like a waste of time to keep on supporting them - but if you know they were a good friend, and will be again once they’re sorted out - it’s worth it. Think of your friends like torrent downloaders - there’s a seed/leech ratio. If someone is leeching from you, exhausting your energy and pulling you down, without ever supporting you, or making you smile - then that is a bad friend! Maybe their skills aren’t in making you laugh, but comforting you when you’re down, or even just making you feel good about yourself.
Just take a second to think about your friends, do they drag you down or lift you up? Are they really worthy of being your friend?
Now - think of yourself, do you do things to lift your friends? Or are you always bitching and moaning? Maybe today you go and do something nice for them, just a text to say how much you appreciate them, or making sure they’re ok. It’s so simple, but making people really is.
Finally - think about those people who really aren’t good friends and ask yourself - do I really need them?
For an entirely selfish purpose really, friends help us feel better - whether it’s cheering you up when you’re sad, or just helping you to enjoy a good night out. Good friends will have a mutual relationship, both being able to rely on each for support, and for good times.
Sometimes it can be hard to be a good friend, if someone is going through a bad period, it may seem like a waste of time to keep on supporting them - but if you know they were a good friend, and will be again once they’re sorted out - it’s worth it. Think of your friends like torrent downloaders - there’s a seed/leech ratio. If someone is leeching from you, exhausting your energy and pulling you down, without ever supporting you, or making you smile - then that is a bad friend! Maybe their skills aren’t in making you laugh, but comforting you when you’re down, or even just making you feel good about yourself.
Just take a second to think about your friends, do they drag you down or lift you up? Are they really worthy of being your friend?
Now - think of yourself, do you do things to lift your friends? Or are you always bitching and moaning? Maybe today you go and do something nice for them, just a text to say how much you appreciate them, or making sure they’re ok. It’s so simple, but making people really is.
Finally - think about those people who really aren’t good friends and ask yourself - do I really need them?
07/02/2010
formspring.me
How many people do you reckon get with sam, then realise his best mate is actually a LOT fitter and are gutted? Lol.
every single one!
03/02/2010
Ties
An interesting thought:
Imagine you, and all the people you know are tied together with elastic, in the middle of a field - on one side of that feild is happiness, the other depression. This feild is littered with obstacles and challenges. There's many different routes, some that you can walk, others that are realy hard.
Now, think of the people you know and how they would help/hinder you. There will be some that will help to motivate you to get over the wall, others that will show you a different way around, some that will just watch, others that will tell you you're doing it wrong, some that'll just drag you back. The further away they are the stronger the elastic pulls.
Some people will switch, sometimes helping you, sometimes hindering. But work out who those that never change are - those that continue to help are your true friends, make sure you're pulling them forward as much as they do for you. And those that are always behind you, cut them out of your life. No one should have to deal the constant negativity that those people bring.
In my case I know I would have Sam helping me, inspiring me to enjoy myself and make the most of who I am, Scott will be showing the sceneic route, with great adventures. Forx will help me see the creative way I can progress, Jenn will sometimes pull me back, but when I hold steady she'll help pull me forward again. There's people I dare not mention, that continue to make me smile - they know who they are though. Then I will have others, all niggling around behind me, not holding me back much, but never helping me forward. I intend to cut these people out.
Imagine you, and all the people you know are tied together with elastic, in the middle of a field - on one side of that feild is happiness, the other depression. This feild is littered with obstacles and challenges. There's many different routes, some that you can walk, others that are realy hard.
Now, think of the people you know and how they would help/hinder you. There will be some that will help to motivate you to get over the wall, others that will show you a different way around, some that will just watch, others that will tell you you're doing it wrong, some that'll just drag you back. The further away they are the stronger the elastic pulls.
Some people will switch, sometimes helping you, sometimes hindering. But work out who those that never change are - those that continue to help are your true friends, make sure you're pulling them forward as much as they do for you. And those that are always behind you, cut them out of your life. No one should have to deal the constant negativity that those people bring.
In my case I know I would have Sam helping me, inspiring me to enjoy myself and make the most of who I am, Scott will be showing the sceneic route, with great adventures. Forx will help me see the creative way I can progress, Jenn will sometimes pull me back, but when I hold steady she'll help pull me forward again. There's people I dare not mention, that continue to make me smile - they know who they are though. Then I will have others, all niggling around behind me, not holding me back much, but never helping me forward. I intend to cut these people out.
addicted to the internet
Are you?
Apparently 1.2% of the UK population is dangerously addicted to the internet, with withdrawal symptons and everything!
I'm not quite sure what I make of this, it just seems a bit retarded really, an awful lot of our lives is now lived out online but to be addicted is just a bit crazy. I remember when I was younger the long boring evenings I would spend alone nearly every night of the week - unless I'd organised something my friends which would be once or twice a week maybe - I would sit and watch crap tv and play computer games on my own. Then I got msn messenger and myspace, and I would watch crap tv, play computer games and chat online with my friends. I certainly felt less lonely to be comunicating.
So, when it comes to these days, with thousands of ways of comunicating with your friends online do we feel any better? I don't think we do, unless I'm talking to someone new, or having a really good conversation then the daily formalities are all rather pointless. I'd certainly much rather be in the pub with someone real. There's nothing quite like the company of good friends, and no facebook, no tumblr, not even the best game in the world can change this, they can meerly distract you until the next time you can be with those you love.
I guess all we can do is just try to enjoy the time we have, and do something productive with it. If you're sitting there waiting for something to happen, go and make something happen!
Apparently 1.2% of the UK population is dangerously addicted to the internet, with withdrawal symptons and everything!
I'm not quite sure what I make of this, it just seems a bit retarded really, an awful lot of our lives is now lived out online but to be addicted is just a bit crazy. I remember when I was younger the long boring evenings I would spend alone nearly every night of the week - unless I'd organised something my friends which would be once or twice a week maybe - I would sit and watch crap tv and play computer games on my own. Then I got msn messenger and myspace, and I would watch crap tv, play computer games and chat online with my friends. I certainly felt less lonely to be comunicating.
So, when it comes to these days, with thousands of ways of comunicating with your friends online do we feel any better? I don't think we do, unless I'm talking to someone new, or having a really good conversation then the daily formalities are all rather pointless. I'd certainly much rather be in the pub with someone real. There's nothing quite like the company of good friends, and no facebook, no tumblr, not even the best game in the world can change this, they can meerly distract you until the next time you can be with those you love.
I guess all we can do is just try to enjoy the time we have, and do something productive with it. If you're sitting there waiting for something to happen, go and make something happen!
Let me set a few things straight here...
Ok, had an argument with someone last night, I got rather angry and upset with them. Most of all I was dissapointed in myself for believing in them.
Anyway, I wanted to clear up a few of the points that wound me up.
1) Straight Edge does not have to include sex. There is no reference to sex in the original song, and for me being sXe is about not using a mindstate altering substance to change my personality. While many also become abstinant, this is not a necessity, just like vegitarianism/veganism. The choices are similar, and a lot of people will abide by all three, but there is no rule that says you must.
For me, Striaght Edge is No Drugs, No Alcohol, No Smoking FOR LIFE. If you tell me that I'm not Edge I will tell you to die. I've had enough.
2) People that sleep around are not necessarily bad people, in fact they often do less hurt than those in relationships. I know that while I did the girlfriend thing I hurt people, I broke up with people, I made mistakes. This all hurt people I cared for. Since I've stopped dating I've still hurt people, but I think I've hurt less people, in less serious ways than I would've if I had kept dating. I respect the people I sleep with, I make sure they understand what I'm about before I sleep with them, I don't lie, I don't con people into sex.
I'm not saying you should all do it, but if two people can enjoy themselves having casual sex, with no damage being done, then who is to say this is a bad thing?
Call me a slag, a ho, a whore, a tramp or whatever, but tell me that I'm a bad person because of it and I'll tell you to die. I've had enough.
3) I've actually changed one of my main beliefs because of the conversation last night. I used to believe that all people are completely equal, each is as good as any other, just in different ways. This has changed - I now believe that every person has the power to be as good as anyone else, but they must use what they've got. Simply sitting about bitching, not working or contributing is a total waste of human life, a waste of oxygen. I work hard on making myself a better person, I exercise, I compliment, I enjoy making people feel good about themselves and while I do slip, I try my best to make amends (even if these people don't deserve it).
Everyone can be better, but only some people try.
You get out what you put into this life
Anyway, I wanted to clear up a few of the points that wound me up.
1) Straight Edge does not have to include sex. There is no reference to sex in the original song, and for me being sXe is about not using a mindstate altering substance to change my personality. While many also become abstinant, this is not a necessity, just like vegitarianism/veganism. The choices are similar, and a lot of people will abide by all three, but there is no rule that says you must.
For me, Striaght Edge is No Drugs, No Alcohol, No Smoking FOR LIFE. If you tell me that I'm not Edge I will tell you to die. I've had enough.
2) People that sleep around are not necessarily bad people, in fact they often do less hurt than those in relationships. I know that while I did the girlfriend thing I hurt people, I broke up with people, I made mistakes. This all hurt people I cared for. Since I've stopped dating I've still hurt people, but I think I've hurt less people, in less serious ways than I would've if I had kept dating. I respect the people I sleep with, I make sure they understand what I'm about before I sleep with them, I don't lie, I don't con people into sex.
I'm not saying you should all do it, but if two people can enjoy themselves having casual sex, with no damage being done, then who is to say this is a bad thing?
Call me a slag, a ho, a whore, a tramp or whatever, but tell me that I'm a bad person because of it and I'll tell you to die. I've had enough.
3) I've actually changed one of my main beliefs because of the conversation last night. I used to believe that all people are completely equal, each is as good as any other, just in different ways. This has changed - I now believe that every person has the power to be as good as anyone else, but they must use what they've got. Simply sitting about bitching, not working or contributing is a total waste of human life, a waste of oxygen. I work hard on making myself a better person, I exercise, I compliment, I enjoy making people feel good about themselves and while I do slip, I try my best to make amends (even if these people don't deserve it).
Everyone can be better, but only some people try.
You get out what you put into this life
02/02/2010
1 down...
Ok, day one complete, I only touched myself to pee, and I limited it to two shakes - more than 2 and you're playing with yourself.
In other news,
Hardcore - Old School hardcore seems to be making a resurgence, which is good and is certainly a way to go away from the hideousness of the Teen Hearts Fiasco. I like my hardcore, but the more I hear, the more I feel I've heard it all before. There's a lot of the chunky chords and shouting, and every now and again theres a bit that reminds me of Million Dead. So I tend to get part way through, and switch to Harmony No Harmony. It's nice to see something like Hardcore coming back, but it's a victim of it's own simplicity - there's only so much of this kind of thing that can be made. I'd like to see some more progression really, and while bands like Ghost Of A Thousand are putting on kick-ass live shows, it doesn't really work...
I'd like to hear a combination of them and Blakfish, more traditional heaviness than Blakfish, but more technical quirky bits than GOAT...
Well, I've just made a new band - maybe we'll do it ;)
In other news,
Hardcore - Old School hardcore seems to be making a resurgence, which is good and is certainly a way to go away from the hideousness of the Teen Hearts Fiasco. I like my hardcore, but the more I hear, the more I feel I've heard it all before. There's a lot of the chunky chords and shouting, and every now and again theres a bit that reminds me of Million Dead. So I tend to get part way through, and switch to Harmony No Harmony. It's nice to see something like Hardcore coming back, but it's a victim of it's own simplicity - there's only so much of this kind of thing that can be made. I'd like to see some more progression really, and while bands like Ghost Of A Thousand are putting on kick-ass live shows, it doesn't really work...
I'd like to hear a combination of them and Blakfish, more traditional heaviness than Blakfish, but more technical quirky bits than GOAT...
Well, I've just made a new band - maybe we'll do it ;)
01/02/2010
some music
because there hasn't been enough lately.
for those of you with spotify:
To check out -http://open.spotify.com/user/terrorvision101/playlist/657KZjinEs2fdtJcKPUeUP
Stuff I like - http://open.spotify.com/user/terrorvision101/playlist/7CPWlpTZmh9FXE1ASmz5WL
Stuff I love - http://open.spotify.com/user/terrorvision101/playlist/35uaasstZf9Q7W00hRoeWo
for those of you with spotify:
To check out -http://open.spotify.com/user/terrorvision101/playlist/657KZjinEs2fdtJcKPUeUP
Stuff I like - http://open.spotify.com/user/terrorvision101/playlist/7CPWlpTZmh9FXE1ASmz5WL
Stuff I love - http://open.spotify.com/user/terrorvision101/playlist/35uaasstZf9Q7W00hRoeWo
the last test
this should come up on my tumblr feed - I hope... I guess I need to put links n shit everywhere now :(
11 hours 22 mintues down - no problems so far :D
11 hours 22 mintues down - no problems so far :D
31/01/2010
100th blog - and 1 day from VDay!
Fuck.
I actually stop having sex tomorrow - nothing, actually nothing.
Fuck.
You buggers better donate!
I actually stop having sex tomorrow - nothing, actually nothing.
Fuck.
You buggers better donate!
29/01/2010
27/01/2010
Teen Hearts
You know I was saying about how the 'scene' is just gunna end up collapsing in on itself? Well no matter how hard the kids kick their legs, all of the neon wearing, alternative as grass, wannabe shit heads aren't gunna keep this latest addition to the gargage barge from sinking the whole damn thing.
Go google it, there's a million posts - It's not the racism, or the look, just listen to that song, and tell me it's alternative. If this is supposed to be alt, then I guess Alphabeat will on the rock show next week. Let's stop this alt/pop mash, by killing them all
Go google it, there's a million posts - It's not the racism, or the look, just listen to that song, and tell me it's alternative. If this is supposed to be alt, then I guess Alphabeat will on the rock show next week. Let's stop this alt/pop mash, by killing them all
22/01/2010
Valentines day!
I'm missing it!
I can't kiss anyone, or do anything interesting on that day at all! So, to make me feel just a little better please donate! Remember every little does help, and this is going to be epically hard for me so PLEASE give as much as you can!
Luckily I'll be able to have sex on March 14th which is also known as steak and blowjob day or manentines day :D
PLEASE DONATE!
I can't kiss anyone, or do anything interesting on that day at all! So, to make me feel just a little better please donate! Remember every little does help, and this is going to be epically hard for me so PLEASE give as much as you can!
Luckily I'll be able to have sex on March 14th which is also known as steak and blowjob day or manentines day :D
PLEASE DONATE!
20/01/2010
The Reason Girls Aren't Happy... Maybe
Ok, so lots of things happen, and I'm often wrong - I don't think a single girl will agree with me on this, but as far as I can tell this is what is happening.
It's why dating doesn't exist anymore.
It might be easiest to explain this as a story...
Boy and Girl are at a club, they bump into each other at the bar and get talking, it all goes quite nicely, maybe they kiss maybe they don't - but they do exchange numbers. For the next couple of days they text, then it moves to facebook and onto msn. They feel like they're getting to know each other pretty well, the guy is charming and lovely and pretty ok looking. so, they go out on a date.
Pause
Right now the guy is thinking, score a date - we can see where this leads. Afterall that's what a date is, a chance to really get to know the other person, see if they're the kind of person you'd like to see more of.
But, the girl is thinking, (unless they're a total weirdo) that this is the start of the relationship, they can stop flirting with other boys, they can relax, it's boyfriend time.
Chances are they'll have sex pretty soon after this, as that's what couples do, but if that was what the guy was after then that girl is gunna be heartbroken, or even if the guy is looking for a relationship, what if he doesn't see her as the girl for him? It looks like he was just after sex anyway, and she gets heartbroken.
This is why I stopped doing dates - dates allude to something more - but that's not the point.
My point is that boys and girls are not at the same stages in a relationship at the same time until much later. And this is the fault of the girl. Yes, it is, because by delaying a date until you 'get to know them' on msn you're getting an emotional attachement. There isn't supposed to be a pre-date but now there is - and it's fucking people about. Boys getting trapped in relationships and girls getting hurt simply because of all the additional comunication. It's not one persons fault really - boys and girls are just on different pages (until the girl tells the boy off and skips him forward a few!)
To back-up my argument I asked the girls around me whether they'd meet up someone they'd met once in a bar, even after a lot of texts and a couple calls they all said no.
THAT IS WHEN A DATE IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!
These girls said they'd like to meet up with them when with their friends, and get to know them better in that kind of safer environment - fair enough, but eventually, it's going to go to facebook etc. The girls expectations grows as they chat online, while the guys doesn't at all - because guys can't get attached to words on a screen. Then it comes to date time and the girls expectations are way higher - again leading to dissapointment.
I've seen this happen a lot of times, with either the guy trapped (sometimes happily) or the girl upset. And it's happening to me at the moment, building rapport with someone I don't want a relationship with, if I ever manage to convince her to see me she may already be beyond the attachment point, and will end up hurt :(
There's only a few ways to deal with this.
1) Girls, meet these guys a lot earlier, realise they're not quite as lovely as they seem online and give them a chance to obsess about you. Boys need face time - we have porn, so chatting about your cat is not gunna make us fall for you!
2) Boys, if you want a relationship with the girl - great, you've got it. If not - be brutally honest as soon as you possibly can be. The girl will hate the loss of romance and propect of something more, but she will respect your honesty. I've blown my chances a few times, but it's better to go home alone than hurt a girl.
GOT IT?
Oh, and don't give anyone who fucks you around, I'm sure you've all found that out the hard way, and probably will again.
It's why dating doesn't exist anymore.
It might be easiest to explain this as a story...
Boy and Girl are at a club, they bump into each other at the bar and get talking, it all goes quite nicely, maybe they kiss maybe they don't - but they do exchange numbers. For the next couple of days they text, then it moves to facebook and onto msn. They feel like they're getting to know each other pretty well, the guy is charming and lovely and pretty ok looking. so, they go out on a date.
Pause
Right now the guy is thinking, score a date - we can see where this leads. Afterall that's what a date is, a chance to really get to know the other person, see if they're the kind of person you'd like to see more of.
But, the girl is thinking, (unless they're a total weirdo) that this is the start of the relationship, they can stop flirting with other boys, they can relax, it's boyfriend time.
Chances are they'll have sex pretty soon after this, as that's what couples do, but if that was what the guy was after then that girl is gunna be heartbroken, or even if the guy is looking for a relationship, what if he doesn't see her as the girl for him? It looks like he was just after sex anyway, and she gets heartbroken.
This is why I stopped doing dates - dates allude to something more - but that's not the point.
My point is that boys and girls are not at the same stages in a relationship at the same time until much later. And this is the fault of the girl. Yes, it is, because by delaying a date until you 'get to know them' on msn you're getting an emotional attachement. There isn't supposed to be a pre-date but now there is - and it's fucking people about. Boys getting trapped in relationships and girls getting hurt simply because of all the additional comunication. It's not one persons fault really - boys and girls are just on different pages (until the girl tells the boy off and skips him forward a few!)
To back-up my argument I asked the girls around me whether they'd meet up someone they'd met once in a bar, even after a lot of texts and a couple calls they all said no.
THAT IS WHEN A DATE IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!
These girls said they'd like to meet up with them when with their friends, and get to know them better in that kind of safer environment - fair enough, but eventually, it's going to go to facebook etc. The girls expectations grows as they chat online, while the guys doesn't at all - because guys can't get attached to words on a screen. Then it comes to date time and the girls expectations are way higher - again leading to dissapointment.
I've seen this happen a lot of times, with either the guy trapped (sometimes happily) or the girl upset. And it's happening to me at the moment, building rapport with someone I don't want a relationship with, if I ever manage to convince her to see me she may already be beyond the attachment point, and will end up hurt :(
There's only a few ways to deal with this.
1) Girls, meet these guys a lot earlier, realise they're not quite as lovely as they seem online and give them a chance to obsess about you. Boys need face time - we have porn, so chatting about your cat is not gunna make us fall for you!
2) Boys, if you want a relationship with the girl - great, you've got it. If not - be brutally honest as soon as you possibly can be. The girl will hate the loss of romance and propect of something more, but she will respect your honesty. I've blown my chances a few times, but it's better to go home alone than hurt a girl.
GOT IT?
Oh, and don't give anyone who fucks you around, I'm sure you've all found that out the hard way, and probably will again.
18/01/2010
I'm glad I'm not american
But I wish I lived there... the spoilt bastards.
http://snarkiest.tumblr.com/
Anyway, go read this blog for a giggle, it's written by some miserable girl who like to bitch about the 'scene' and how bitchy it is. It's this kind of thing that makes the scene so dreadful, but if you can get yourself a nice tumblr fanbase then you know you're doing things right eg: pop songs for 'alternative' girls.
Funny how it's all just the same again now, even metalcore is going pop, just got to wait for next BMTH album to feature Travis McCoy and Gabe Saporta :\
Lets hope bands like Architects don't follow the trend and stick to keeping it heavy.
Don't get me wrong, I like my pop-punk and mainstream rock, but when the 'scene' is listening to Metro Station you've got to worry who you're identifying with.
Like all alternative movements, they've got bigger, and more rediculous until they've collasped in on themselves leaving only a few of the hardcore left as a thwoback to times forgotten - just like that old barber with his greased back hair and leather jacket is a throw back to the teddy boys of the 50s, in 50 years will we still have proud emo boys, sporting their fringes, plugs and tattoos? Or will they all be hiding their idiotic youth beneath the latest BHS clothing?
I just want to know what's coming next, and when it'll be here. This latest trend is set to burst anyday now.
http://snarkiest.tumblr.com/
Anyway, go read this blog for a giggle, it's written by some miserable girl who like to bitch about the 'scene' and how bitchy it is. It's this kind of thing that makes the scene so dreadful, but if you can get yourself a nice tumblr fanbase then you know you're doing things right eg: pop songs for 'alternative' girls.
Funny how it's all just the same again now, even metalcore is going pop, just got to wait for next BMTH album to feature Travis McCoy and Gabe Saporta :\
Lets hope bands like Architects don't follow the trend and stick to keeping it heavy.
Don't get me wrong, I like my pop-punk and mainstream rock, but when the 'scene' is listening to Metro Station you've got to worry who you're identifying with.
Like all alternative movements, they've got bigger, and more rediculous until they've collasped in on themselves leaving only a few of the hardcore left as a thwoback to times forgotten - just like that old barber with his greased back hair and leather jacket is a throw back to the teddy boys of the 50s, in 50 years will we still have proud emo boys, sporting their fringes, plugs and tattoos? Or will they all be hiding their idiotic youth beneath the latest BHS clothing?
I just want to know what's coming next, and when it'll be here. This latest trend is set to burst anyday now.
14/01/2010
WTF
Tonight I got stood up for the third time in a row.
When did I become such a fool to allow this to happen?
Someone get me out of this - this is NOT who I am.
When did I become such a fool to allow this to happen?
Someone get me out of this - this is NOT who I am.
13/01/2010
2010
Teh-Rawr says:
*meeting a girl
Rob says:
*ghey
Teh-Rawr says:
*not really
*boy/girl is pretty hetro
Rob says:
*not any more
*it's 2010
Teh-Rawr says:
*hetrophobe :P
*meeting a girl
Rob says:
*ghey
Teh-Rawr says:
*not really
*boy/girl is pretty hetro
Rob says:
*not any more
*it's 2010
Teh-Rawr says:
*hetrophobe :P
10/01/2010
SEX!
hello people
I'm giving up sex for 40 days and 40 nights! It's gunna be hard, but I'm doing it for charity so I'm pretty confident! This is where I'll be keeping a log of how I'm doing, as far as how much money I raise, and how I'm doing personally. I'm sure a few of you might be interested on how much I'm suffering so I'll be posting it here (and facebook will be re-posting it to my notes)
I have a justgiving page now - please go and donate. It looks rather depressing atm! www.justgiving.com/40days
I am NOT looking forward to feb 1st!
I'm giving up sex for 40 days and 40 nights! It's gunna be hard, but I'm doing it for charity so I'm pretty confident! This is where I'll be keeping a log of how I'm doing, as far as how much money I raise, and how I'm doing personally. I'm sure a few of you might be interested on how much I'm suffering so I'll be posting it here (and facebook will be re-posting it to my notes)
I have a justgiving page now - please go and donate. It looks rather depressing atm! www.justgiving.com/40days
I am NOT looking forward to feb 1st!
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